The next morning, Miranda makes a desperate cell phone to Carrie, standing outside in this Elmer Fudd furry hat and a coat over her negligee. It's so campy. I half expect to see Bugs Bunny stroll by dressed as Cary Grant and attempt to seduce her, or Wile E. Coyote and that sheep dog punch out and eat lunch together. Mir says the whole trip is "screaming" that "sex is the only thing on the itinerary." She complains that the night before, she and Steve "held hands for an hour. He was looking into my eyes. I was looking for the remote." Hee! Mir says, "It feels good to be sarcastic. You can't be sarcastic on your honeymoon!" Carrie asks about the "motherhood thing: All it's cracked up to be?" Mir hears a rustle in the bushes and gets ready to go. "I should be able to do this, this should be the most romantic time in my life!" Then a pause. More rustling. Mir's final thought? "Raccoon."
We follow Carrie's PowerBook cord to the place where it lives, namely Carrie's PowerBook. She VOs and types, and oh boy, I'm not going to miss this part of the show when it is over. Carrie wonders if "should" is another disease plaguing women, if peer pressure comes from within, and "why are we shoulding all over ourselves?" Carrie? You're a perpetual ditherer. When have you ever taken a "should"? I'd say you're pretty blocked up.
Sam and Smith leave a premiere party together, and for once Sam isn't up for facing the cameras. She tells Smith she's gonna leave first, then maybe meet him later on. He asks if he's done anything wrong. Wow, you practically catch your girlfriend fucking her ex, then you wonder if you're doing something wrong? Yikes. Sam takes a deep breath and tells him about her cancer. His face looks pained, like he was punched. Then the cameras flash and the paparazzi call, "Smith, Smith!"
Carrie flops on her tummy and asks about Alek's child. "How old is...?" Alek finishes with "she." And she's 22. Chloe. She lives in Paris, with her mom. Mom and Alek were married for seven years. He pulls out some photos to show Carrie. Carrie tries to angle the conversation back to what she wants. "So, why only one child?" Alek likes his life the way he likes it, and besides, he "lucked out with Chloe." Carrie "hmms" and looks wistful.
Drinks with Sam. Sam's in this zebra jacket that is so Edwina, it's not even funny. Carrie says that being confronted with the life she'll never have with Alek "wrapped up in a box" made her wonder, and she regrets saying this to someone with cancer, but "Why me?" Sam says, "Let 'er rip." Wow, Sam is such a gem. Who else with cancer could listen to this shit? Sam makes the point that there are many fabulous things in life that don't involve children. Carrie thinks about it, then makes a list. "Sex, travel, comfort, love, and extraordinary adventures." Sam says, "Not too shabby." Carrie notes that she's "only been invited in as far as a security code and a robe." Oh, so now the level of security you never reached with a man isn't good enough? Carrie: she's never happy. Sam starts saying "no" repeatedly, as Carrie arrives at her conclusion: Can she ask Alek to love her enough to make up for the fact that she forgot to have kids? Sam says, "No no no no no no NO!" Hee. Carrie says, "It's too early in the relationship to have this conversation, and it's too late in my life not to. It's a catch-38." Car 54, where are you? There's a crazy lady who doesn't know what she wants at table five, and she keeps making choices that make her unhappy. Seriously, this show could not have a happy ending. It has to end quizzically. Or maybe the ending will be Brady's name change to Brady Hobbes-Brady. Which would make a lot of people exhale, for some reason.