Carrie is woken up by the crowing of roosters. She looks out one of her windows and sees roosters in cages on the roof of an animal hospital. Oh, the wacky things that happen in the city!

Samantha is being kept awake by a group of three transsexual hookers hanging outside her building. She opens her window and sees one of them yelling about how some guy tried to fuck her or him -- or as my friends in school used to call pre-ops, "shmim" -- up the ass and s/he told the guy, "Get that thing out of my ass or I'm going to shit on it!"

She tells the girls at breakfast about the hookers and asks them if that was the grossest thing they have ever heard. Carrie hopes so, but I'm sure Samantha has said worse. Samantha bugs about spending so much money for her apartment, only to have the trannies -- people with boobs on top and a dick on the bottom -- start up every night at four a.m., like they are doing a show. Miranda calls them "The Up My Ass Players," and everyone, including myself, laughs out loud, except for Charlotte. Poor Charlotte still can't lighten up at the group breakfasts after all this time. Charlotte thinks it is weird to be back eating breakfast with the girls after only three months of marriage. She thinks that it is horrible to be thirty-four and separated. She is tired of talking about Kyle and wants to talk about something else. Miranda suggests having an unpacking party at Charlotte's on Sunday night with no talk of Kyle. Samantha tells them she will bring the cocktails, and Carrie offers to bring the food -- roof chicken. Oh, Carrie, you're so witty; you should be a writer! Or not.

Carrie goes to the vet's office that keeps the roosters on the roof, and speaks to the woman at the desk about their chickens. The woman corrects her and tells her they are roosters, and that they have recently been saved from a cockfight in the Bronx. The woman offers to move them to the basement, but Carrie feels bad that they had such a horrible life and tells her it is okay for them to stay where they are. She takes a business card and leaves.

Miranda is working at a table with her cat sprawled out next to her paper work. Miranda calls her cat "Fatty," which is the name my brother gave his cat, and his cat is the same color and size. Coincidence? Who knows! ["My cat (well, the fat one) looks a lot like Miranda's too." -- Sars] Miranda decides to get something to eat and finds nothing in her refrigerator except some funky leftover Chinese food. She calls a Chinese restaurant on speed dial and places an order for take-out. The girl who takes the call asks Miranda for her address. If the order is take-out, why is she asking for an address? You should only need an address if the food is for delivery. Is it different in New York City? When you say "take-out," do you really mean "delivery"? ["No." -- Sars] After Miranda gives her address, she starts to order some items, but the girl taking the order finishes her sentence and tells her that she knows who Miranda is and that that's what she orders every night. She starts to giggle, and Miranda hangs up on her.