Sex and the City
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

Episode Report Card
Nicole: B- | Grade It Now!
And baby makes five

Miranda then makes an appointment with her doctor over the phone, but she can’t make herself say the word "abortion," so she says that she is pregnant and "needs not to be." Well, we all know that in the sitcom world, if you can’t say "abortion," you certainly can’t get one.

Samantha walks out of a building and onto the sidewalk, and she sees a middle-aged woman in a track suit with the Birkin bag she wants, so she calls the Hermes PR woman and asks why it is taking so "fucking long" to get the bag, and that Lucy Liu is a "fucking star" and a "fucking nobody" has the bag they want, and she wonders if "Hermes" means "we take our fucking time." There are times when Samantha says "fuck" and it works. This time, it does not work. It sounds like Kim Cattrall is just reading from a cue card. If I were the PR person on the other end of the line, I would have just hung up on her.

Oh, good God! Carrie walks into her apartment wearing a scrunchie with her hair and hair extensions in a high ponytail, a micro-mini Catholic school skirt, a white lacy halter top with black bra, a big white jacket, and white high heels with beige fishnet socks. And she is holding her Gucci fanny pack. You know, you keep asking yourself, "Can the outfits get any worse on this show?" and then your question is answered with a horrified "yes!" I swear, next year, if talk-show hosts keep blithering about the fashion trends SATC starts, I will poke the hosts in their eyes with hot daggers. There is no way anyone who isn’t mentally handicapped would look at the outfits worn this season and try to wear the same things. So Carrie is looking at mail while walking across her apartment, and she turns around and screeches. Did she walk past a mirror and see what she was wearing? Oh, no, it's Steve -- he's there because he and CIM were playing basketball, and CIM had to go to the bathroom. Is there only one basketball court in the city, and it's right by Carrie’s place? Carrie feels all uncomfortable in front of Steve. Steve asks how Miranda is, because she won’t answer his calls. Carrie just ignores him and runs into the bathroom where CIM is. She whispers to CIM and asks if he told Steve about Miranda, because he's asking Carrie about her. CIM tells her that Steve always asks about Miranda. Carrie whispers that it's okay if he told because it's obvious that she can’t keep secrets either, and CIM whispers that he didn’t tell Steve, even though he thinks Steve should know what's going on and he wishes he didn’t know. They have a whisper argument about Steve and Miranda and whatever, and Carrie is acting psycho about Steve listening to what they are talking about and tells CIM to leave, so he does.

Miranda and Carrie are having pizza, and Miranda tells Carrie that her doctor doesn’t do abortions, so she's on a waiting list at another doctor. Carrie apparently was in such a rush not to be late that she forgot to get dressed; it looks like she's still wearing her towel and just put a belt around it. She asks Miranda if she's going to tell Steve; Miranda has no plans to tell him. Carrie tells Miranda that she told CIM, and that he had strong opinions about Miranda telling Steve. Carrie asks her if she would want to know if she were in Steve’s place, and Miranda tells her that she wouldn’t want to know, and she really doesn’t want to know about it now. She asks Carrie if she told the guy from The Saloon, and Carrie tells her she didn’t, but it's different, because she barely knew the guy and only had one drunken night with him. Miranda tells her that if she told Steve, then he would want her to have it, and Carrie gives her a look like it might not be a bad idea. Miranda gets very annoyed and snarks, "You know what? You’re right. Forget my life, I’m having Steve’s baby! Pizza for everybody!" Woo hoo!

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Sex and the City




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