Sex and the City
Critical Condition

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Critical Condition

Carrie, in yet another stank nightie, is watching TV and eating cherries. She tunes in to SNL, then blanches when she sees Nina's name in the credits. She calls Sam to kvetch, who is of course at her wit's end with Brady. She was nice, and "now [she's] being punished." Brady's "problem is that he's an asshole. Maybe Charlotte has time to talk, [she] has a screaming baby on her hands!"

Mir walks in the door with a nice, shorter 'do. Sam says everything was fine, and "the chair broke, but shit happens." Mir panics briefly. "The chair broke?!" Yeah, but Sam fixed it. By putting the AcuVibe in the chair with Brady. Oh, man. Alexa Judge, you are my hero. I love your stuff. Brady sits next to the giant vibe, smiling and drooling. Mir looks at the scene, narrows her eyes, and says, "That better be brand new."

Char sits in a lawyer's office somewhere, negotiating with Bunny and Bunny's lawyer, her own less-gorgeous lawyer at her side. She won't settle for Trey's stupid coin collection; she wants the apartment. Trey gave it to her, after all. Bunny makes a nasty little speech about how Char made a vow before God, swearing to stay with Trey until death parted them, "not until the road got rocky." Char looks faintly guilty and fully uncomfortable. Bunny continues, "When I think of the heartache and shame you've caused my poor boy...." Wow, this is laid on more thickly than En-Cor lasagna. Bunny sure knows how to twist a knife. I can see she's concerned about her son, but, um, where is her son? Do mothers often step in to help manage divorce proceedings? There's a knock on the door -- telegram! From none other than Trey. Someone already pointed out on the boards that Trey sent a telegram instead of calling or faxing or appearing in person so they could work in this bit: "Charlotte was a wonderful wife, stop. She did nothing wrong, stop. Give her everything she wants, stop. Seriously, mother...stop." Heh. It's a good bit. The only reason why I didn't give this episode an "A" is because no one got laid. Other than that, it's perfect. Bunny extends a clawed hand, asking wordlessly to examine the telegram. It sticks. Char gets her apartment, and tells Bunny she's sorry, for everything. Bunny just sails out, her nose in the air. Well, fine. And hooray, Char got the apartment! Sweet.

Carrie sits on her stoop with Steve. He asks if he wanted to see her to tell her to stop calling Miranda so much. Oh, no. Carrie was thinking of herself. Again. She wants to know how Aidan feels about her. Steve bursts out with, "Oh, jeez, NO. You're not going to try to get back together with him again, are you?" No, she just wants to know how Aidan feels about her. Does he hate her? Steve rapidly bounces a basketball against the stoop until she asks him to stop. He says Aidan is fine...NOW. NOW, he's okay. But BEFORE…oh, man. "Back then he couldn't get out of bed for like, a month? I brought him chicken wings. He lost his ability to open up and trust women." And who told him that? Nina. Loo Lady. She had a little insight on the situation. Some one-sided insight, but whatever.

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Sex and the City

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