Carrie tells us that she has been seeing CIM for three weeks now, and she keeps waking up in the middle of the night thinking that she forgot something, that something just didn't feel right. Gee, maybe it's the fact that you stopped smoking so you could sleep with a balding, paunchy, wannabe radio DJ from Alaska? So then we see Carrie and CIM finishing up a round of boot knocking, and CIM is still wearing some cheesy necklace/choker thing that looks so sensual with his pasty white chest. Not. Carrie starts to get up to get a glass of water -- maybe to get the taste of Has-Been out of her mouth -- but CIM offers to get the water for her, and thank god we didn't get an ass shot of him walking to the bathroom, because as Carrie watches CIM walk off she gets a look of horror on her face, which at first I thought was her real life reaction of seeing CIM's ass, but we find out through Carrie's VO, "I realized it. For the first time in my life I was in a relationship where absolutely nothing was wrong." Um, Carrie, you are forgetting the part about you having to give up a lifestyle you have had for some time, and that no one has ever made you give up before. That may be a little wrong. Or the fact that he has a dog that wanted to have sex with you before he did. Or maybe the way he tries to live like he is from Woodstock or something, and you are the exact opposite. There are so many things wrong with this relationship I could go on forever, so I'll just stop here for now.
So the girls are at breakfast again, in the same place they have been having breakfast for weeks, just like the gang from Seinfeld always did. Carrie is bitching and moaning about how effortless her relationship is, and Miranda thinks that there is an upside to being with a guy with no surprises, and that one of the things she loves about Steve is that he is completely predictable, comfortable and safe. At this point Miranda is looking a little too happy, especially for Miranda, when she tells the girls that her favorite thing to do on a Saturday is Steve's laundry. Okay, who stole Miranda and replaced her with a Pod Person? Samantha tells her, "Your relationship is my greatest fear realized." I can't believe I agree with Samantha, but I do. I've been married for over four years, and I still don't do my husband's laundry. Charlotte gets upset that the girls are talking about dumping men for being too available, and then she tells them about a book she's reading about how to get a husband, and it tells her to stay away from friends with dysfunctional relationships. Samantha and Carrie make a D'OH! face, and then Charlotte tells them that she is going to spend more time with her married friends so she can meet their single male friends. Charlotte is so excited and certain that she is going to meet her husband this year that she almost convinces me that her plan could work.
Miranda goes home, and Steve shows her that he heated leftover lasagna, and Carrie tells us, "An hour later it was on to dessert" with Steve feeding Miranda some ice cream while they lie in bed, "followed by exactly eight minutes of no frills sex, and twelve minutes of Frontline. Theirs was the kind of closeness that only came from true intimacy." I can't tell whether Carrie is putting down Miranda's routine, or if she is jealous of it. I would think she is jealous, because who in the hell wants to have crazy monkey sex with CIM? Give me eight minutes with Steve over an hour with CIM any day, even if Steve still gives me the heebie-jeebies.