CIM has bad rock and roll music blasting and is sanding the floor with a huge belt sander, and for some strange reason Carrie can't get her work done. She tells him she is bothered by his work, like everyone else that lives in her building probably, and she can't do her own work so she is going to stay at the Stanhope Hotel. CIM actually looks surprised. What a dunce.
Kyle and Charlotte are walking down the street, holding hands, and he tells her how delighted his mother was about their engagement, but Charlotte looks sad. Carrie tells us that Charlotte got what she wanted, but she couldn't get out of her head how she got it. They walk past Tiffany, and Kyle stops Charlotte and tells her they should go in and buy her the most beautiful ring they have. She smiles a big smile and says, "All righty!" Carrie tells us, "From that moment on, Charlotte would tell everyone that right in front of Tiffany's [sic], out of nowhere, Trey popped the question and she said 'all righty.'" Nice revisionist history there, Charlotte. I can just imagine the interesting stories she'll make up when she tells people how she got pregnant and gave birth.
Samantha and Bobby are in bed, and he tries to push her head down to give him a blowjob. Man, I really hate it when guys do that -- they should get a clue that if they have to shove someone's head down, that person probably doesn't want to give a blowjob. Samantha totally denies him, and he asks why. She tells him he has funky-tasting spunk, and he tells her he thinks she is just making excuses. He then accuses her of being a "two-blowjob chick," and that he'll probably never get another blowjob from her again. Um, Bobby, don't you have to wonder why women whom you have sexual relations with stop giving you blowjobs after the second time? Maybe it isn't just a coincidence? ["Maybe it's because you're an asshole with a huge sense of entitlement? Gee, I wonder." -- Sars] She tells him she isn't a two-blowjob chick and that she loves giving head. He tells her to give him some head then, it's easy. "Easy!?" she yells out. "You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breath through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing!" AMEN, SISTER! She tells him it is great if she is with the right guy, and if the spunk doesn't taste funky. Bobby doesn't believe his spunk could be so bad. She convinces him to try his spunk himself, and if he is fine with it, she will be too. Carrie tells us, "Ten minutes later…" Bobby has some of his spunk on his fingers; he tastes it, makes a pained face, and tells her he thinks it's fine. You know he is ready to throw up. Samantha should have snowballed him so he could get a whole mouthful, not just a little taste. Carrie tells us that since Bobby was fine with it, Samantha was fine with it, but her heart wasn't in it. Like her heart ever makes an appearance during sex?
Carrie is doing exactly what I did two weeks ago -- I had problems getting my recap done at home so I went to a hotel to finish it up and send it out, and now Carrie is in a hotel room finishing up her writing. The phone rings, and it's Big, who is in the lobby. He tells her he talked to CIM to find out where she was, and he asks her to come down to talk to him. As she steps out of the elevator, Carrie is covering herself up with a raincoat, but you see that she is wearing what looks like a black tap-dance outfit. Where's the top hat and cane? She finds Big sitting at the bar, and she asks him what he wants. He asks her to have a drink with him, and she looks at him and tells him that she has a boyfriend and a deadline, and he has a wife and a drinking problem. If I had CIM for a boyfriend, I would have a drinking problem. He tells her he was upset that she didn't say anything when he said he was leaving Natasha, so he decided to be a jerk to her when he called her to tell her he was staying with Natasha. She tells him to stop with the flirting and the calling and the talking to her boyfriend. She tells him she doesn't want CIM to know about him, and when he asks why, she tells him to go lie in his beige bed. She shuffle-ball-changes to the elevator, and Big follows her into the elevator. He grabs her and tells her he made a mistake, and he kisses her. She tries to push him away and says, "Fuck you!" He tells her he loves her and kisses her again, and she tries to push him away again but doesn't try so hard, and whispers, "Fuck you." He pushes her into the corner of the elevator and kisses her again, and she starts to kiss back. Carrie's VO says, "My mind was yelling how angry I was, but my heart…my heart." What mind? Carrie has a mind? As they are kissing, Carrie whispers, "Fuck me." And the screen goes black. Next thing we see is Big, lying in bed, lighting a cigarette and passing it to Carrie. Carrie takes a drag as her VO tells us, "And just like that, I lost my head." Honey, you lost your head episodes ago. You only realized it now.