Cha, cha cha, cha cha. Splashy bus, cha cha cha!
Lights up on Carrie's apartment. She VOs that there are two reasons to don the little black dress during daylight hours -- "one is getting home from the party at dawn, the other is leaving the party too early." She means funerals. She grips a newspaper, folded open to an obituary, and the camera spins around her as she recalls Javier, the Cuban fashion designer who loved clothes but was fonder of heroin. Carrie knew Javier "since he was Harvey." Her buzzer buzzes, and Samantha breezes in, wearing a rather large white hat (so large it nearly lops Carrie's head off post-air-kiss) and a powder-blue suit with her white fur slung around her. Hardly fit for mourning. Except that the suit is a Javier original, which Sam bought for two thousand clams, and has since been marked up thirty percent. Sam is rather too bouncy to be attending a funeral, I think. She wants to "make an impression" with her outfit since "everyone is going to be there." Carrie points out another NYC truism: "You're more popular when you're not around." In Philly, people leave and come back, and it's as if they never left. Seriously, you can be gone for months and it's like, "Oh, hey. How ya doin'." Anyway, Charlotte pops by, all in black, as Carrie's guest to the funeral. Sam is rather outraged that Carrie scored a plus-one for the event, and Char points out that Sam's outfit is totally inappropriate. Mee-yow.
We have an outdoor burial scene. I'm guessing somewhere in Queens. Everyone is clad in bright modern outfits and odd little hats: Javier's spring line. Carrie and Char are the only ones in black, and Char begs to wear Sam's hat. Sam rolls her eyes and prompts her to say if asked that the hat was a gift. A woman takes the podium, and Sam hisses and jabs her pals, demanding silence. The woman is Javier's sister, who apparently has undergone a dramatic makeover in order to take over the throne of her brother's fashion house in good face -- pun intended and references to Donatella Versace standing tall. Carrie lights up a cigarette, claiming that "Javier would have wanted it this way." Hee. Sister of Javier announces tearfully, and with a heavy accent, that donations to the Javier House (of Pancakes? Nah) will be accepted. The J-House is to "help" people in fashion with "substance abuse problems." Sam begins to applaud, and is told by Carrie to perhaps not. Sam gets a gleam in her eye, and decides to offer to help them raise money. Her intentions aren't entirely altruistic; she wants to get her hands on the mailing list and "get every single unlisted 212 number in Manhattan," which seems more than a little redundant. Like she was supposed to get all the unlisted 212 numbers in Boise? Sam smoothly makes her way over to the grieving sister and begins her spin. A gust of wind blows the hat off Char's head, and she dashes after it, making "ooh, ooh!" noises as she goes.