Carrie tells us that New Yorkers have all sorts of routines. Miranda is getting ready for a first date with Will O'Connor, whom she met at Starbucks, and she is getting all dressed up and finishing up her make-up. Carrie then tells us that Samantha enjoys her "end-of-the-first-date routine," which is having sex on her wheeled bed as it rolls around the room. Why in the hell does Samantha have her bed on wheels? One day she is going to crash her bed into her neighbor's living room and light it on fire, since she has a number of lit candles also on her love-nest-to-go. Charlotte's and Kyle's routine is to try to have sex, and this night Kyle's "sail is up," but as soon as he tries to dock it into "Rebecca's harbor," the "wind died." Charlotte tells us that after a week of that routine, "the only thing getting up in their bed was Charlotte's libido." Then Carrie tells us her routine was spending every night in to work. She gets a call from Miranda telling her that Miranda got stood up for her first date. After some whining about being stood up and being older and knowing better, Miranda asks her to go out for drinks, but Carrie tells her that she has to stay in because agreed to teach a class at the Learning Annex about where to meet men in the city, called "Bright Lights, Date City." Now, wouldn't it be good research to go out for drinks and meet men? She could give her students a good example of where to go, or not to go. Miranda is all annoyed and decides to get off the phone with Carrie and call Will to see what his problem is. When she calls, Will's mother answers the phone, and when Miranda starts getting pissy with Will's mother about him standing her up, she tells Miranda that Will died that day. Well, I hope Miranda enjoys the shoes she is wearing since she planted one of them in her mouth right then.

The girls are at breakfast, and Miranda tells them what happened. Insert stupid comment from Carrie about knowing why some guys don't call back. Miranda tells them he had a heart attack at the gym, and that she felt so bad that she told his mother that she would go to the wake. Samantha tells them that she got them reservations at Samba next Friday, and tells Charlotte that she could only get a reservation for four and if it would be okay if Kyle stayed home. Charlotte tells them it is fine since Kyle doesn't seem up for much lately, and then she tells them that for the past week they have been trying to have sex, but she is having a hard time saying "have sex," so Samantha helps her and blurts out, "Fuck?" and Charlotte tells them, "It's just not…" "Getting big and hard?" Samantha guesses. Carrie asks, "What is this, dirty Mad Libs?" Carrie finally gets a good one-liner in! Even my husband laughed at that, and he hates Carrie. Charlotte tells them that she is getting so turned on that she almost, you know, last night, right next to her husband. The girls tell her there is nothing wrong with masturbating and that everyone does it, and Samantha tells her she masturbated that morning. Thank you for telling us that. Charlotte doesn't know what is wrong, because Kyle masturbates and looks at porn but just isn't interested in her. Samantha tells her he has a Madonna-Whore problem with her, and he doesn't see her as a "sexual plaything" and that he needs to start seeing her differently. Thanks for reading the SATC forums and coming up with that conclusion!