Carrie is with Miranda and Jim at a nice bar, and Carrie is being attacked by Mothra! Oh, no, wait. It is just a fugly metal winged bug on a necklace about the size of one of her big-ass flowers. I don't know which one is worse. They are having a nice conversation, and Jim asks the waiter for another drink for Miranda and ignores the fact that Carrie's glass is empty. Jim then tells Carrie that even though they hadn't been in touch for eight years, he had kept up with her by reading her column. He mentions that there is a lot of sex in her column, and then nonchalantly adds that she didn't know a lot about sex when they were together. Carrie immediately realizes that she still doesn't know a lot about sex and decides to leave before he figures that out. Miranda and Jim ask her to stay, and then Miranda asks her if she heard Jim play in his band. Jim tells her that Carrie never did, because she was too busy buying shoes to walk all over him. Miranda tells him to quit it, and then tells him he is an asshole. He tells Miranda that Carrie is the asshole for never calling him after she broke up with him. Carrie yells out to him that she never called him because he was an asshole. Miranda tells him to never call her again, and Jim is all, "Oh, the fancy lawyer lady is breaking up with me. Like I give a shit! You are such assholes!" What are we, back in eighth grade? Miranda and Carrie walk off holding hands, as Carrie tells us, "Jim hadn't gotten older or wiser. Once dumped, he dumped on everyone else." Outside, Carrie and Miranda are walking together and Carrie is yelling out, "I told you so!" and they talk about what an asshole Jim was. Oh, that Carrie, she certainly told Miranda. Maybe we should all take Carrie's dating class to learn what NOT to do to find a man, since she apparently only picks the big losers.
Carrie tells us that "the Samantha in Charlotte was ready to come out." Charlotte comes out of the bathroom in a floral see-through negligée that you can see her nipples through, and she saunters over to Kyle, who is reading in bed. Kyle looks almost disgusted at what Charlotte is wearing, but to be honest with you, the outfit Charlotte has on is sexy, yet totally beautiful and absolutely perfect for her. I would be turned on, and I'm not into women! Kyle asks her what she has on, and she tells him it is supposed to be sexy. Kyle tells her that she is his wife and that is not her, so take it off. Damn, that is hurtful. If my husband said something like that to me I would run off crying, but I guess a lack of nookie will lead a woman to desperate measures. Charlotte takes the negligée off in front of him and is only wearing panties. Kyle goes back to reading, and Charlotte tells him to look at her. She tells him, "This is me. I'm not a Madonna, and I'm not a whore. I'm your wife, and I'm sexual and I love you." She starts to put her hand down the front of her panties, and it gives Kyle a stiffy. Carrie tells us, "That night, Trey successfully screwed his wife for a full minute and a half…before the wind died." Woo hoo! Charlotte got some! Celebrate!