The four girlfriends convene at Raw, a "hot" restaurant where they don't cook the food above 118 degrees. Miranda is aghast at the idea of eating "raw vegetables" and uncooked vegan non-dairy food. "People! The emperor has no oven!" Carrie giggles, then stifles a yawn. Sorry, she was up having totally boring sex the night before. Sam asks, "Did you finally bugger Berger?" Yes. She had him on a roll. His buns were magnificent. Anyway. Char applauds Carrie's achievement. But everyone looks askance when Carrie says that the sex was "fine" and that she "really [doesn't ]want to talk about it."
The girls go to their table; it looks like Mir and Carrie are wearing variations of the '30s-esque Marc Jacobs looks from winter 2002, while Char has on this heinous Victorian bustier which displays her tan lines to great disadvantage. Not only is Sam drinking an appletini (gag), she has on this strange purple fur throw. Very strange looks on the girls. Everyone stares at Carrie, waiting. Carrie peruses the menu, then says she doesn't know what the problem was; they chat well in restaurants, and the kisses are fine. There was just "no sexual chemistry." Char says that "if the kisses were fine, the sex will eventually be good." Carrie says it was "just quiet." Mir asks how quiet. "So quiet [Carrie] heard the M11 bus. [She] heard the doors open, [she] heard people get on, people getting off..." Sam says, "At least someone was getting off," then locks targets on their hot waiter, who's brought over an amuse bouche for the table. He's a handsome, model-y looking blond. Very Levi's low-rise jeans print campaign. Where's his trucker hat, I want to know. If I go to Black Betty next weekend, will I see him there? Probably. Him or someone like him. Sam says she'd like him to "amuse [her] bouche." He was hot, and the soup he brought was not. Mir calls it "lawn in a bowl." I can't believe I'm already so bored, just seven minutes in.
Char asks that her friends put down their menus, because she has something important to say. Sam can't stop staring at their waiter's ass. Carrie clanks a cocktail glass, and after shots of each of the girls, Char says she's "becoming a Jew." One more round of reaction shots, then Mir says, "What?!" Char says she can "feel you reacting." I can feel myself aging. I can hear the herbs in my garden growing. It's just that much of a non-event, this announcement. Char says she's "very happy with [her] decision," and that "tomorrow [she's] meeting with the rabbi." Harry makes her laugh, and she can be herself with him (though Mir points out that herself is Episcopalian), and that it's the "most exciting sex [she's] ever had." Carrie says, "Mazel tov."













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