Sam bones her hottie waiter. They go through myriad positions. They even put a chair on the bed. Why would you put a chair on a bed? After they're done, Hottie Waiter says that Sam "didn't have to order all that shit," since he "was ready to go home with [her] last Tuesday." Sam orders that he "get down there and make it up to [her]." He does. She makes an I'm Getting Oral Sex Face and some cartoon-y noises, and here's reason number two why this show can't go on forever: This shit gets old.
Carrie wakes up, with the noise of the M11 bus in her ear. She realizes that she and Berger never got it on the night before. Like the song goes, "It's now or never." Berger rolls over and on top of Carrie, and they fumble their way towards ecstasy. Except, not. Berger pulls away and says he doesn't know what's wrong, and he "sucks" and that people have "told [him he's] good at this." Carrie says, "We're so good everywhere else!" Berger says, "We gotta make the bed more like a restaurant." He walks away, and Carrie calls after him, "Are you coming back?" He does. Carrie says, "What if we're just not good together in bed?" Berger says, "Don't say that...we should be smokin', not chokin'!" I should be joking, but I'm horking. This whole ep feels like it hasn't moved forward at all. Berger finally notices her "very sexy shoes," and Carrie puts them on for him. Then they admit that they wanted to talk to each other about these things, and that they should have talked, and they will promise to always talk to each other in the future about such important matters. Then he pounces on her, and they kiss passionately, and the other marabou shoe hits the floor.