Sam kisses Richard seductively. He demurs, saying he has work to do. She screeches, "If you want out of this, just say it!" Oh my god, Samantha is freaking! OUT! She asks why Richard hasn't hung the hearts she gave him yet. He isn't sure if they belong there. Sam yells that he means he isn't sure if SHE belongs there. Jesus Christ! Is she trying to drive him away? She asks where he was at lunch, when she popped into his office, and he says he was AT LUNCH, EATING. Sam isn't appeased. "Eating? EATING WHO?!" Finally she asks that he tell her he's fucking someone else and they'll "call it a day." He says he doesn't want out of it, but if she does, "this is a good way to go." Dude, seriously.
Sam and Carrie march down the street. Sam says bitterly that she's SURE Richard is fucking someone else. "The man was a tramp!" Carrie points out that since Sam is being faithful, "miracles happen." Sam says she'll follow him on his lunch hour wearing a wig from the Raquel Welch Wig Line. A "sassy shag, chestnut brown, cute," she says. Okay, Sam has lost her mind. Get the Zsa Zsa Gabor net in sassy sisal. Sam stole a key to Richard's apartment, and has it all figured out. Just as Carrie says she doesn't have bail money, she lays her eyes upon a pair of stilettos and coos, "Hello, lover." She says she's "needing them for [her] last Big night out on the town. Drinks, dinner, dancing, very old New York." Whatever that means. Will the men be wearing hats, and the ladies painting on their nylons with make-up? Or will it be Manhattan '80s-style, with cocaine and rubber jewelry and Danceteria? "Old" New York, grumble grumble.
Char's on her date with the museum guy. They have the bitter-tasting ex talk, and both admit that love "is tricky," and "like a fog." And yet, there they go stepping into it again. Without guns held to their heads. I'd love it if they both agreed that "people are stupid."
Char has her date up to her place for "coffee, and." He sees her palatial apartment and starts saying "wow" a lot. Then he freaks. "My first wife was an orthodox Jew, and now, you're a rich girl. Why can't I ever find a woman who's compatible to [sic] me?" Um, because there isn't a woman jerk big enough? Char gently shows him the door.
Carrie and Miranda walk the streets, with a honking umbrella over the both of them. Carrie says she's "given [her]self permission to sleep with Big, if it feels right." Mir says Carrie's "a big girl." Carrie asks to have that in writing. Oy. The baby kicks, and Mir says ow. And that she's "getting a little freaked." And will Carrie be in the room with her when the baby is being born? Mir says Steve will coach, but that she wants "something normal to look at." Hee, "normal." As if Carrie has any "normal" outfits. Maybe Pat Field can whip something up special. Carrie says she'll be there, but won't cut "any umbilical anything." Agreed.