Berger sits in a cafe, waiting, waiting. Carrie walks up (wearing a hiddy red bandanna dirndl thing) with a Prada bag, and hails him ("Hey hey hey! Yeeeeeee!"). Berger cracks that he thinks she has a "Prada abuse problem" (not a Pra-ddiction?), and then Carrie presents him with the "'I never say fabulous' fabulous shirt!" He accepts it somewhat reluctantly. She doesn't notice his understated reaction, since she's too busy being elated -- her book will be printed and sold in Paris! She shows him a check for $25,000 -- a very hefty advance "from France." She's "the literary Jerry Lewis!" So, she splurged and bought him a shirt. Wow -- what about a big fat check for Charlotte, since she helped save Carrie from near-homelessness? Oh, right. Ye old plotlines, we don't address ye.
Miranda and Carrie take a morning walk. Mir tells her that Steve slept over, on the couch. Carrie sing-songs, "Someone's gonna get huu-rrt!" Mir says she's "acting [her] ass off" not to give her feelings away, and Carrie reminds her that they don't give out awards for that. P.S.: Car, what's with the green football shirt that says "55"? A reference to your weight? I like the camo pants, but oy. Then Mir and Car bump into Courtney (brilliantly played by Amy Sedaris) coming out of a liquor store. Courtney greets Carrie with "the toast of Europe," then relays that she herself just got canned. Why? "Disappointing sales in my sector, quote." Carrie sighs her apologies. Courtney is tough. "Fuck 'em, unquote." She says she would have gotten the boot earlier, and mentions that all her authors have been dropped. "How's Berger doing, anyway. He's so talented, they never should have dropped his second book option." Um. Courtney is gone, with a quick "cute kid" in Brady's direction. Carrie starts to beat herself up. Why did she whip out her huge check and buy him that expensive shirt and squeal with glee about her huge success? Sure, it was gauche of her to actually show him the check, but to share her success with him is totally within limits. Why Berger couldn't have told her about his disappointment is a little puzzling. Oh, right. Men are threatened by successful women. Berger and Carrie are so breaking up next episode. Mir says it's okay for her to be proud of her success, and maybe she should wait until he brings his getting dropped up first before she says anything. Carrie groans and whines. How can she feel sorry for herself when it's his loss?
Anthony and Charlotte sit in the park, looking at guys. Anthony calls most of them out as "gay. Gay. Gay and doesn't know it yet." Then he sees a suitable match for Char. "Pale with no arms, straight and Jew-hew-ish!" Char demurs. She just broke up with Harry and isn't ready to move on yet! Anthony says that "it's been two weeks. Next! You are knock-knock-knocking on sad gal door. And nobody likes a sad gal." It's true. The only thing worse than a person who looks too hard for love (or to get laid) is a sad sack who mopes around for so long that her vagina grows closed, like a pierced ear. Anthony warns her, "You better get interested, or you're gonna end up all alone and with no mans!" Hee. I get alllll the mans.