Sex and the City
Lights, Camera, Relationship!

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Red Carpet Bingo

Sam snoozes during the sparsely attended preview of Jerry's play, Full Moon. It is awfully dull. It's kind of a parody of a Bergman film, but with an American Gothic/farm motif. An older couple sits onstage. The back wall is a painting of a sunset, framed by stalks of wheat. He says, "The corn?" She, a ringer for Dianne Wiest, says, "Harvested." He: "The hay?" "Harvested." "My youth?" "My youth...?" Jerry takes center stage, wearing overalls and nothing else. Then he takes off the overalls. Gong. Though we only see his (luscious, wonderful, extremely well-shaped) ass, the audience gets the full frontal treatment. Sam, naturally, sits up and takes notice and is very impressed. But all we get is ass. Hey, the food here is great, but could the portions be bigger? Like, can we see some cock too? Please? How long have I been asking for full frontal male nudity now? I've been writing for TWOP since 1999, and while NYPD Blue had plenty of ass and even some tit, we never say cock. And, S&TC producers, a second of Richard's cock two seasons ago is not. Enough. What do we want? Full frontal male nudity in films and TV? When do we want it? NOW! Seriously.

Back at Sam's apartment, she snarls, "Get your COCK out." Yeah, whip it out, man! We all want a look. He asks if she liked the play, and his monologue. Well, she wasn't exactly paying attention. Jerry says he hopes the critics like it more than she did, since he quit his restaurant job. Sam pauses. "How?" Then she asks who's doing the PR for his "sad little play." No one; they don't have the cash. Sam says she'll do it just to get the word out about the best thing in the play. "Full frontal. You. Naked." Jerry says he just has to work on his craft. Sam tells him to "work on [his] abs," and that his real name has to change. "Matt. Toby! Ryan!"

Carrie and Berger read in bed. Wow, they're already at the reading-in-bed phase? Jesus, their relationship is deteriorating faster than Brady is growing. He looks like a two-year-old, and their relationship looks like a five-year-old sexless one. Carrie asks into the empty air, "Something wrong?" Berger says no. Carrie says she knows. She ran into Courtney while she was out with Miranda. Berger yells that he didn't want Mir to know! Then Carrie apologizes for the shirt and the check-waving and stuff. Berger says that he's happy for her current success. "Good for you!" Then he goes back to his book. Carrie isn't buying it. "Hey Berger, want to talk to my editor?" No. He turns off the light and rolls over. Carrie says he's great and he'll be fine, and he goes, "Ungh."

Carrie and Sam go out for cocktails. They are both covered in glittery rhinestones and sequins. So sparkly. Sam tries to buck Carrie up by saying that "flailing" men need a strong woman to come in and lift them up -- like she did for "Smith Jerrod"! Yup, she changed Jerry's name to something that sounds like an investment firm. And she got him a mention in Liz Smith's column. Hee -- she called him an "it" boy. Sam got tickets for all of them to come out and see him in the play. Carrie asks if Jerry wasn't threatened by Sam's power and ability to make things happen. "Oh no! Younger men aren't threatened by stronger women!" Carrie is intrigued. "Is that a whole generation, or just him?"

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Sex and the City

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