So the episode begins with the camera stalking Carrie outside her window as she's typing on her laptop, and we see that her hair has thankfully grown longer and blonder since the pilot, where SJP pulled a "Separated at Birth?" with Fran Lebowitz. Carrie is VOing an anecdote about Miranda recently being invited to a dinner party with a sports agent in whom she was romantically interested.
Cut to the dinner party, where Miranda's new beau is asking the guests to name the "movie star, alive or dead, [they] would most like to fuck." The short, obnoxious, so-not-all-that sports agent begins with his selection of Veronica Lake. The guy next to him chooses Sophia Loren. A woman chooses Montgomery Clift. Miranda informs her that Monty was gay. The woman looks crestfallen as Miranda cackles. The host chooses Marilyn Monroe. His wife chooses Bing Crosby. Miranda smirks and chooses "Sean Connery: yesterday, today and tomorrow." Ew. I didn't need to know that Miranda wants to be sheduced by a Shcottish shenior shitizen. Carrie VOs that Miranda felt like she "was hitting it out of the ballpark" with her date and his friends. Then Miranda has joined the hostess and the Monty Clift fan in the kitchen, where she's interrogated about how she met Sports Agent Guy. The women say they "adore" him. Monty Clift Fan Woman mutters something about an "ultimatum" he seems to be taking "seriously." Miranda asks them what's the sitch. They inform her that Sports Agent Guy usually only dates models. Then we see a couple of flashback dinner parties where supermodel types are sitting in Miranda's place at the table and are given the "sex with a movie star" query. The guests glare at one model when she shrugs and replies, "Charlie Sheen." Then another model gets up from the table to vomit up her dinner in lieu of answering. We cut to the hostess and her friend telling Sports Agent Guy to bring a brainier date the next time. We cut back to the present, where the women are crowing about how wonderful it is that Miranda is "so not a model." She gapes in astonishment at this bit of news and furiously takes a bite of cheesecake. I can't believe they told Miranda about the ultimatum -- how rude! I bet Monty Clift Fan Woman was seeking payback for Miranda ruining her lifelong fantasy. Which I happen to share.
Cut to outside Miranda's apartment. Carrie VOs that Miranda "confronted" her date. Sports Agent Guy confesses to being "obsessed with models." Miranda wails on him for selecting her as his "intellectual beard for the evening." Heh. Miranda bolts from the creep.