Sex and the City
My Motherboard, My Self

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Carrie is walking down the street with a bouquet of flowers, and she looks like she forgot to put on pants or a skirt, because what she's wearing looks like her boy-cut underwear. And of course she has on stiletto heels. She tells us that “four overbooked friends” got together from different parts of the city for “a power get-together.” The girls are at a park having sandwiches as Miranda tells them that her life has revolved around working and eating at Au Bon Pain, and Carrie tells them her life has revolved around CIM and a pimple on her face. Why am I not surprised that Carrie’s life revolves around her boyfriend and her face? Samantha tells Charlotte that the sandwiches she made for them are great, and that she's very happy that Charlotte isn't working so that Charlotte can be her wife. I thought Samantha wasn’t interested in lesbian relationships anymore? Charlotte is wearing a red and white bucket hat that looks like it came from Target (not that I’m saying Target is bad -- I personally love the store -- but the fun print on the hat looks Targetesque and not really Charlotte’s taste), and she tells the girls that she thought she would have more free time now that she isn’t working, but she's very stressed over decorating the apartment and tells them there are over forty types of dimmers. Yeah, I can see how that could stress a girl out. Carrie drops her keychain, and Miranda asks if she has become a janitor with all the keys she has. Carrie tells her that she needs seven keys just to get into CIM’s apartment. Seven keys? How many doors could she possibly have to go through just to get to the door of his apartment? It’s not like he lives at Fort Knox or something. I can see two different doors on the street level and then his door, so that would make three keys. How are the other four keys used? So anyway, Carrie tells them that she usually has CIM stay over, because he only has the two-in-one shampoo/conditioner at his place. So CIM gave her keys to his apartment, but won’t let her bring over some of her own shampoo? And if he is constantly sleeping over her place, who's taking care of his dog? Miranda asks if Carrie gave her keys to CIM and Carrie tells the girls she did, and Charlotte tells her “that’s big!” to which Carrie replies, “That’s the opposite of Big!” See what she did there? Miranda is all impressed, because she waited six months before she even gave her cleaning lady a key to her place. Samantha shows them all “the key to a lasting relationship” and whips out a stapled-together “booklet” of 1001 Sexual Positions that she got from some guy on the corner on her way to lunch. The girls gawk at what looks like photocopies from a Kama Sutra book and comment that, the way the people’s legs are bent around, you can’t actually have bones in your body to get into some of the positions. Samantha then tells them about the new guy she's seeing; he's the wrestling coach at NYU and is very flexible. Carrie then asks the “congregates” to look at position 91 in their “prayer book,” and when she shows Miranda, she yells out “Amen!” Those girls are so sassy with their sex/religion double entendres.

As Carrie uses her key to get into her apartment, she tells us that she found CIM “in the most shocking position of all, cooking to the oldies.” Carrie is still wearing her boy-cut panties outfit from before, but now you notice that she has a long black coat on that kind of looks like a robe. It looks like she forgot to put “outside” clothes on to go out. She gets all upset at first that CIM is messing up her clean kitchen while listening to "Copacabana" by Barry Manilow, but then realizes that he is cooking fajitas and skips over to him. He shows her that he's cooking the fajitas on his George Foreman Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine. Yeah, you lost weight. We got it the first time we saw you this season. You don’t have to constantly mention that you work out and eat better now. I swear, if at some point this season he starts telling Carrie that she has to watch what she eats, I’m going to throw a carton of my Healthy Choice ice cream at the television. I guess the George Foreman grill excites Carrie, because she shoves her hand down CIM’s front pockets and starts playing pinball. He turns around and starts kissing her, and as he starts to move her down to the floor, Barry Manilow sings, “Don’t fall in love!” Is Barry trying to tell them something?

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Sex and the City

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