Sex and the City
No Ifs, Ands Or Butts

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
No Ifs, Ands Or Butts

So the show begins with the homeless ballerina spinning around until a bus splashes dirty water on her, and then we fade to Charlotte and a date standing outside her apartment building, finishing up a first date. The man leans in for a kiss, and all of a sudden he starts licking around her mouth and nose and Charlotte is all disgusted. What I want to know is how many takes that took to film, because it certainly looked like it would not be fun to perform over and over and over. Sometimes HBO really makes the actresses earn their salary. ["Not to mention the actor, who had to slurp pancake make-up take after take." -- Sars]

But not Sarah Jessica Parker. The girls are at a restaurant and Charlotte is telling them about her date's "kiss" and the girls are all squealing, "Eeeeewwwww!" Then, in what looks like a first read-through for the actresses that ended up getting printed, they start to talk about how bad kissers are the worst. Miranda mentions the "stabby little pointy tongue," and Samantha talks about the lazy man with the "clam mouth" who expects the women to do all the work while kissing, and the whole time SJP is sitting there yelling, "Oh, that's the WORST!" like she forgot the real lines she was supposed to say. Samantha tells Charlotte to dump the guy, but Charlotte thinks that dumping someone for being a bad kisser isn't right, so Samantha suggests she change her man's name "from Brad -- to Bad!" Wow, that Samantha has such a way with words! As the girls are all laughing at themselves, the restaurant's chef yells at them to keep it down. As Carrie's VO tells us, Adeena worked with Carrie at the paper as the food editor and now owns Fusion, which serves a sort of Martha Stewart-meets-Puff Daddy type of food. She asks the girls how they liked their meals, and of course they tell her it was the best food they ever ate. Adeena's brother comes over and she introduces him to everyone. Samantha becomes instantly smitten, and the feeling is mutual. He tells Samantha that he remembers seeing her at the Columbia Records party for Jennifer Lopez, and she tells him her PR firm worked the party. So, basically, since she is her PR firm, she worked the party, right? He tells her his name is Chivon Williams, and she gives him her business card. He reads it, and it says, "Samantha Jones. Easy Lay." And it has her work number, cell phone number, and number of drinks it takes to get her drunk on it. Chivon walks off to talk to the bartender, and the girls start talking about how cute he is and how much nice jewelry he had on, and Samantha is all, "I'd like get me some of that!" and Charlotte whines about how Samantha shouldn't talk like that, and Samantha is all, "That wasn't black talk, that was sex talk!" Like Samantha could talk about anything other than sex? Charlotte informs Samantha that "it's African-American talk" and that she was being rude and politically incorrect. Carrie reminds Charlotte that Samantha is rude and politically incorrect. Samantha announces, "I don't see color, I see conquests!" and Carrie, the bad actor, blurts out, "Talk about affirmative action!" No, talk about seeing an acting coach, okay?

Carrie is at home the next morning drinking some coffee and reading a magazine when Stanford comes over and tells her about the New York Times Style section, where there is a story about a beautiful guy who makes beautiful furniture, and he asks her to go with him to the furniture store. She doesn't want to go, but he convinces her by showing her a picture of the furniture guy and telling her he is straight.

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Sex and the City




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