One box of blonde "Nice-n-Simple" later, she stands in front of the mirror, nude, and screams. Her pussy hair is now Manic Panic orange. Wow, Kim Cattrall looks GREAT naked. And the real nickname for a pubic wig is "merkin."

The orange pubic hair segues into a clown wig: Brady's birthday party. But Mir said there would be no clowns! Jessica, look over there. AT THE CLOWN. Just kidding. Steve's Maaa, god bless Ann Meara, ordered the clown. She tells Steve to tell the clown to open the door, since she paid him. Maaaa cracks open a Budweiser and says she hopes Mir isn't offended that she brought her own beer. Mir is maybe a little bit offended that Debbie and Maaa embrace so warmly, and that Debbie joins Maaa in popping open a can. Harry walks in with a huge gift, sans Charlotte. Char, still feeling the loss of her pregnancy, is sitting and staring at the TV. Mir says, "She'll be okay," and yeah. But you can't make that happen. It needs some time.

On the couch, Char tunes in to an E! True Hollywood Story about Elizabeth Taylor. Aww. I can think of no better medicine that doesn't come in a massive glass vat at Russian Samovar.

Sam drags Carrie into the bathroom to commiserate about her gray pubic hair. Carrie, sitting on the toilet and eating, puts down her plate so she can put her head in her hands and moan, "This is a child's birthday party." Thanks, Carrie. Now I don't have to say it. I mean, shut up and let me do my job. Sam makes the point that while it's okay to wear Chanel reading glasses, "this," a.k.a. her genitalia, is "not supposed to get old. No one wants to fuck Grandma's pussy!" Not even Grandpa? Well, someone's got to fuck Grandma. Carrie stands up and says, "Bye." Then Sam says she dyed her pubic hair. Carrie says she's going to count to ten, and then leave. So, in this, the final episode of Season 6A of Sex & the City, Samantha says she left the dye on too long, and yanks up her skirt and says, "I'm Bozo the Bush!" Carrie gasps and buries her head in her hands, only to come up for air and take another peek at the horrible orange mop. The VO? "Some things are scarier than a clown." Would one of them be a total lack of dignity? Or dyed pubes? I mean, it's just hair, it'll grow back. Shave it again, already.