Sex and the City

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: B+ | Grade It Now!
One last episode until January

Sam drags Carrie into the bathroom to commiserate about her gray pubic hair. Carrie, sitting on the toilet and eating, puts down her plate so she can put her head in her hands and moan, "This is a child's birthday party." Thanks, Carrie. Now I don't have to say it. I mean, shut up and let me do my job. Sam makes the point that while it's okay to wear Chanel reading glasses, "this," a.k.a. her genitalia, is "not supposed to get old. No one wants to fuck Grandma's pussy!" Not even Grandpa? Well, someone's got to fuck Grandma. Carrie stands up and says, "Bye." Then Sam says she dyed her pubic hair. Carrie says she's going to count to ten, and then leave. So, in this, the final episode of Season 6A of Sex & the City, Samantha says she left the dye on too long, and yanks up her skirt and says, "I'm Bozo the Bush!" Carrie gasps and buries her head in her hands, only to come up for air and take another peek at the horrible orange mop. The VO? "Some things are scarier than a clown." Would one of them be a total lack of dignity? Or dyed pubes? I mean, it's just hair, it'll grow back. Shave it again, already.

Char watches the Elizabeth Taylor story, rapt. La Liz says, "Now is the time for guts, and guile." Char resolutely gets off the couch.

Charlotte, in a pink dress and updo that's completely Holly Golightly, steps out of her building, dons sunglasses, and walks down 5th Avenue. Wow, that's a fast recovery. Char has got guts, and guile.

Mir autopilots through her son's first birthday party. Debbie comes up and says everything looks so nice, and isn't it great everything worked out so good? And she really loves Steve, by the way. The words are like a knife in Miranda's heart. Then Blair comes up and says he can't wait to sing to Brady, and hey, where is she going? Is everything all right? Mir nods a tiny bit and runs off to get the cake.

She stares at the cake, which only reads, "Happy Birthday, Brady." Steve walks in, with a candle shaped like a number one. He's all, will you look at that? Mir says, "I love you. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have said it! I fucked it up! But I love you!" It's okay. Steve loves her too. "I mean, come on!" They kiss. Magda walks in: "Where is cake!" Miranda shows her the candle. Look at that candle! Magda sees more than a waxy number one, smiles, and closes the door.

It's the birthday song time. Charlotte walks in just in time. Everyone sings, and Miranda blows out the one candle. Harry asks Charlotte if she made a wish. She nods. And Carrie VOs that, three weeks later, Miranda got hers. She and Steve got back together. Aww! And aww, no more Blair's ass. Sigh.

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Sex and the City




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