Mir lets this sink in. "He's just not that into me!" Sam tells her not to listen to Berger, since he doesn't know what he's talking about. She says to him, sotto voce, "You're fired." Berger tries to backpedal his way out of the canyon by saying, "If the guy's not into you, he's obviously a weenie." True, that. But still. It probably stings a little for Mir. And again -- she's just figuring this out? Has Mir never subscribed to the "get while the getting's good" rule many men (and women) live by? Dude. Mir, finally, says, "I love it! It is the most liberating thing I've ever heard! Think of all the time and money I could have saved in therapy had I known this before!" She didn't know? Oh my. Is this what the show will do in its final season -- drop anvils and S-P-E-L-L dating truisms out for everyone? Oh, right.
Carrie VOs that the best part of a night out with friends is "talking about them all the way home." Berger says all her friends are "hilarious," and Carrie says all of them loved him. They have ice cream novelties and make cute some more. Then he claps his hand over her mouth. Rape fantasy? Nah. He just wants to tell her something and doesn't want her to say anything back. The thing? He loves her. When he removes his hand, she gushes that she loves him too! Ever so much! She was thinking it all night and she's so happy and she wants to say it again on her own! She loves him! Carrie loves Berger! They're sitting in a tree! Ever so much! Oh, happy tree-sitting day!
Carrie's "euphoria" (not U4EA -- remember that?) carries over to Zabar's in the morning. She and Char stand by the counter and gush about how much they love their respective men. Carrie wants to "squeeze" Berger's face "right off" sometimes. Yeah, that's love all right. And that lasts forever, too. Not. And I'm not as old as Carrie, even. Char burbles on about how this is her first Shabbat dinner as "a real Jew," and she wants to make it great for Harry. The deli man steps up with the brisket she ordered, and she yells at him that she "said LEAN!" Wow, that's Jewy.
Carrie walks into her place, and finds a copy of Berger's novel waiting for her. It's called Hurricane Pandora, and he inscribed it with no pressure at all: "Sure, you love me, but can you love my book?" I'd break up with him right then and there. Well, unless the book really rocked my world. Writers are so fucking ridiculous. Why would you want to set a tone like that? "Love me? Love my book, too! Or I'll be an empty shell who'll resent you forever and ever. And I'll eat your Nutty Buddys when you're not looking."