Sam and Jerry have another fantasy scene. This time, he's an IRS auditor. She doesn't have the money; what is he going to do, take the shirt off her back? He does. Then they fuck on top of the adding machine, and she actually says, "This is what I call internal revenue!" Hold on, I have to get several drinks.

Carrie reads Berger's book and calls it "brilliant." Berger knocks on her door and loads on the pressure: Is she done yet? Did she like it? He can't date a slow reader. What, did she "stop for meals"? Oh, Jesus. I've dated writers like this. They're so fucking insecure that even when they're desperate for you to kiss their asses, they're whining and wheedling. I guess you could look at Berger's behavior as cute, but having been there, it's honestly just annoying. One reason I love my friends is because they don't kiss my ass, not because they do. Anyway, Carrie "loved" the book. She gets totally squeaky and annoying about it. She "love love loooooved it!" Berger's main character is "running all over the island of Manhattan wearing a scrunchie." I wish Carrie had said "isle of Manhattan." Then I could say, "Smoke on your pipe and put that in." Berger instantly goes on the defensive, like any insecure writer does. "You're full of shit!" He sees women wearing scrunchies all the livelong day. Walking the dog. Going to work. Making love in the afternoon. The scrunchie: it is one of the hypothetical roses in life which we often forget to sniff. It's like Jesus, in that it is always with us.

Carrie, not getting that Berger is hurt, says that nobody who works at W magazine (and this is the second time W got a plug this season! Don't think I don't notice!) and lives on Perry Street would wear a scrunchie to a "hip downtown restaurant." Ew. Who says "hip downtown restaurant"? Carrie really screeches the last "scrunchie." The sound of her voice makes my dog's forehead wrinkle up. Sure, it's adorable. But at what cost? Carrie asks to read her favorite part aloud, but Berger says no. He's "done talking about the book." He grabs the phone to order in some food.

Next day, street scene. Mir, in a tan jacket and skirt, listens to Carrie ramble about how Berger "shut down." She's in these awful American Idol-contestant LOSER plum satin cropped cargo capris and a flowery jacket. Honey, Gwen Stefani wouldn't even use those plum satin cargo capris to blow her nose. Oh, right; the clothes are supposed to be a joke. Well, sometimes jokes aren't funny. Carrie says she had to "get on [her] sass horse and ruin everything." Mir deadpans that "sass will bite you on the ass." Heh. Carrie asks why she ran with the negative and "pick[ed]." Mir says, "Because you're in a relationship!" But they should still be in the honeymoon stage. Mir says to talk to him, since they could "laugh [their] way through everything." Carrie says that may have been the crux of the problem.