Moments later, Jack and Carrie are sitting on a park bench. Oh man, I just thought of Jethro Tull. My bad. They eat McDonald's (note to MPK -- enough already). Carrie slurps on a shake, and Jack tosses fries to the pigeons. He says he's "hitting them" more than feeding them. He pretends to type (a gesture I and many of my writer friends make) and mock-narrates, "Did the man have a little repressed anger in him, the woman wondered? Or did he just hate pigeons?" Carrie says she's "tripping over the word 'repressed.'" Jack says he's "not really bitter, [he's] just trying it on for size." Okay, that's a non sequitur. His lines are to provide character insight. We get it: He's a clever, witty, maybe bitter writer. Check. Carrie says she thinks bitter "fits." He goes on to say that it's "a little tight in the crotch." Carrie blush-blanches, swivels her neck, and says she can't believe he said "crotch" to her. After all, they just met. He offers, "Long in the sleeve?" She admits that it's not as funny as "tight in the crotch." ["Then she admits that she shouldn't write a column about sex, because she's such a damn prude that the word 'crotch' gives her a wig. Shut up, Carrie. God." -- Sars] Jack teases her for having a strawberry shake, and asks if it would be weird if she came with to pick up his dry cleaning. She says it would be weird for him to send her for his dry cleaning. He stands up and offers her his hand, and she kvells over the gesture.
As they leave the park, he protects her from a speedy bicyclist, and picks up a playing card. He collects "found playing cards," see -- "hoping to get a full deck," ha ha -- and he didn't have a two of hearts! Okay, I'm going to barf from all the cuteness. I love sugar, but please. I'm going into a diabetic coma. Hooray for new crushes and all, but oy. Just when I'm about to die, Carrie asks Jack to be her plus-one for her book party. He can't, because his girlfriend's parents are coming in to town and they're staying with them. Oh. Oh.
Carrie describes the event ("like a bomb that kept going off," she says) to her girlfriends at lunch. "That guy's a jerk!" says Char. Carrie doesn't think so. She "sparked" with him. Aww. Sparky sparky! Then she says evilly that she wonders "how happy" Berger and his woman are. Ooh, nasty! But it happens; people meet people that are in relationships, and steal them away. Just saying! Sam offers a "mani-pedi-Botox" to cheer Carrie up. Mir mutters that Sam says it like "everybody does that." Sam says, "Everybody will." Dude, I don't know. I'm booked for my first facial this week, and I'm a little scared. But waxings and mani-pedis are par for the course now. I think I'd like to travel to the moon first -- everyone will get to do that in our lifetime, right? I'd take space travel before Botox, given a choice. Sam says the fab party is soon, and Carrie will meet someone there -- and Sam will even be Carrie's plus-one! Great. Carrie cries and moans some more about how Jack didn't mention having a g.f. Mir says she didn't mention having a baby to Walker. Char is shocked. Mir says that this is a guy she could be dating, and she didn't want to blow it. Char notes the similarities between Mir and Carrie's similar situations, and Carrie is all, "Thanks for bringing that up."