Political soiree. Samantha, Carrie, and Charlotte stand near the refreshment table and debate the definitions of "dwarf," "midget," and "little person." Charlotte's in a black cocktail dress, Carrie's in a flesh-colored tank with an orange tissue flower, and Samantha's wearing a white zip-up sweater with a shoulder-grazing collar. Samantha frets about her upcoming date regardless, and calls Weedo a "munchkin." Carrie chastises her for being "politically incorrect" considering the setting. Charlotte goes off to "mingle." Carrie's voice-over reminds us that Charlotte intends "to be elected wife before the year was out." Does everyone GET that Charlotte's going to be married this season? Because these bits of foreshadowing are about as bombastic as that The Perfect Storm preview, and nearly as ominous.
Steve and Miranda arrive. This must be a Republican fund-raiser, because like Charlotte's and Samantha's, Miranda's hair has been teased up to Jesus. She asks Carrie why they should support Bill's campaign. Carrie spouts the usual voice-of-change gobbledygook, then admits, "I'm sleeping with him." Steve: "Good enough." Heh. Carrie walks the couple over to Bill and introduces them. Steve asks Bill to fix some parking tickets for him if he's elected; he owes the city five hundred bucks. Miranda gives him a "shut up, honey" stare. Steve insists he's just joking. He goes to fetch her a drink. Miranda bitches to Carrie about Steve's "dumb jokes" being a "con," but praises his "cute butt" as a "pro." Excuse me? Miranda's jokes are just as cringe-worthy, if not more so, and y'all haven't kicked her to the curb.
Cut to Samantha telling a bewildered partygoer that she doesn't believe in political parties, "just parties." Case in point.
Charlotte sits on a couch with a supposedly eligible man, blathering about Lichtenstein. Cue his fiancée to pop up and introduce herself. Charlotte's eyes bug. Foiled again!
Carrie greets Stanford, her token witty gay confidante. He says he can't stay at the party long; he has tickets to The Vagina Monologues. Carrie: "Why?" Stanford: "Just because I don't eat at the restaurant, doesn't mean I can't hear the specials." Hee! Stanford makes a much better accessory than those goddamn tacky tissue flowers; can we have more of him, please? ["I'm waiting for him to appear at some point wearing a big-ass flower on his lapel." -- Nicole] Bill comes up to Carrie and takes a gulp from her martini. Carrie introduces the men. Stanford says he represents "the queer vote" and tells Bill that he needs to win over Chelsea to get elected. Bill: "I'm not worried about Chelsea. Have you seen my ass?" Way to stereotype gay men as shallow, over-sexed male Samanthas, Bill. SHUT UP! Stanford doesn't share my opinion, because he looks at Bill's ass and pledges his vote. Whatever. Bill's campaign manager comes up and directs him over to a donor. Stanford asks Carrie to "fix [him] up" with the campaign manager. Carrie wonders how Stanford knows Campaign Manager is gay. The hell? Miss Premier Sex Columnist doesn't know about gaydar? Stanford says he saw CM rollerblading on Eighth Avenue. Stanford plaintively asks, "Please?" Carrie: "Great. Now I'm a First Lady and a pimp." Yeah, Jackie Kennedy and Bobby Kennedy all rolled into one. Carrie walks over to CM and does that stupid "my friend thinks you're cute" shtick, which has never failed to chafe my ass. Why go out with someone who isn't confident enough to approach you themselves? CM looks over in Stanford's direction, but thinks that Carrie is talking about this blond guy standing near Stanford who looks like a cross between Steve Sanders from 90210 and Dumb Ricky from the last episode. Carrie says that CM's secret admirer isn't the "blond with the great arms" but the "bald guy with the great sense of humor." CM declines the offer. Carrie walks over to Stanford and lets him down easy by telling him that CM isn't gay after all. She realizes she's "getting good at politics." As she turns around to lead Stanford away, we see that she has a major Della Reese, poorly highlighted, wig-upon-wig hair-don't going on with her mop. ["Note to self: go back to hairstylist who convinced me that highlights only in the front are hip and sexy, and poke her eyes out with her styling tools." -- Nicole]