Samantha strolls out of Richard's bathroom, naked as a kitten, and she sees a man sitting on the bed. She screams, he yells that he's gay, she asks that he turn away as she arrange her towel. The guy is one of Richard's assistants, of the personal shopping variety. He's picked out all of Sam's gifts for Richard (but tells her that he's buying for fewer women now that Sam's on the scene). Sam asks if he writes the cards too; then her wheels start turning and she asks him to do her a favor.
Nighttime. Sam opens her gift (a beautiful bracelet), then tears into the card, which is signed, "Love, Richard." Love! He says, reluctantly, "I love you, Samantha. I do." She's all, "You do? I love...this." She holds up her wrist, indicating the bracelet, then kisses him fiercely and throws him on the bed, to "do what she does 'best.'"
Miranda and Steve are looking over the papers that lay out the schedule for sharing the kid. She's got it figured down to the hour. Steve says he thinks kids are a little different from trains, and may require a little flexibility in their scheduling. Heh. He then offers to rub Miranda's feet for her. She agrees, but asks that he not give her any lip, since she could "fart [him] into oblivion." Then she says she's horny as hell. He says he'll have sex with her, but isn't sure if it's allowed in the contract. "Fuck the contract," says Mir, "and please fuck me." Woo! They go at it, Mir calling it "a mercy fuck" and stressing that they "aren't a couple."
Charlotte and Carrie have forgiveness lunch. They apologize, and Charlotte notes that both of them are on their own again. Then Char puts a little black box on the table and says she wants Carrie to have her ring for the down payment on the apartment. She wonders why she has "all this money," if not to help out a friend? Carrie protests, for a bit, then gives in, insisting that she'll pay Char back in time, and then she opens the box. The ring gleams. Char asks, "Will [Carrie] take this ring?" Carrie says, "I will." They hold hands and smile at each other. Okay, if Carrie had kept Aidan's ring? She could have done this FOR HERSELF. But nooo. It has to be someone rescuing her, again. ["I don't think she'd have gotten a tenth of what she'd get with Charlotte's, but still." -- Sars] Their food arrives, Char says she starts at the museum next week, and Carrie says she got Vogue up to four dollars and fifty cents a word. Ooh! If you cared.
Carrie signs some paperwork, and says thanks to the handyman who's fixed her toilet and will fix the wall later. The VO says she's home. It doesn't thank her rich friend for bailing her out, but it should.