Sex and the City
Sex And The Country

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Carrie tells us that some New Yorkers think of Manhattan as a place to kill time between weekends at their homes in the country, as CIM shows Carrie pictures of a run-down cabin in the woods and Carrie fakes interest. CIM tells Carrie she is joining him in the country next week, and she tells him that she has a meeting with her editor in town next week. He tells her she can take the train into the city for her meeting and then go back out into the country afterwards. Carrie realizes she can’t get out of this little trip, and then CIM sings like some yokel, "Pack your bags little lady you’re coming to the country with me!" Because we all know that as soon as you leave Manhattan, everyone talks like they’re from Mayberry. Miranda buzzes up to Carrie’s apartment as Carrie tells CIM that she's a city girl, and that because she goes to the late movie in the middle of the week, she is wacky and can’t possibly go to the country. Because people that live the country go to bed when the sun goes down, and they don’t have movie theaters that show movies past 7:00 p.m. Miranda comes in as CIM and Carrie start swapping spit, making it all too clear once again that Miranda does not have anyone to swap spit with right now, and she looks a little uncomfortable. She tells CIM to tell his "little pal Steve" to call his insurance company, because they can’t reach him and he still has her name as the "in case of emergency person." CIM tells Miranda that Steve wants to talk to her, and she thinks that Steve wants to get back together with her since he broke up with Jessica. CIM tells her Steve has testicular cancer, and Miranda feels like a "horrible, selfish bitch" for expecting Steve to want to be with her.

Charlotte is in bed reading and doing pelvic thrust exercises, which arouses Trey when he comes into the bedroom. She tells him she is doing fertility exercises, and he thinks there is a better way to become fertile, and he climbs on top of her. She looks at some watch-looking thing on her wrist and tells him that her basal body temperature tells her that she won’t ovulate for another five days, so they have to wait so that he will have strong swimmers when she ovulates. Trey is a little annoyed, and Charlotte whines about trying for three months and not getting pregnant yet and wanting to make sure it works this time, and she asks him to wait until Saturday. Oh, waaahh, three months. Go whine about it at the fertility clinics that have couples that have been trying for years to get pregnant. Trey reminds Charlotte that they have to be in Connecticut for the weekend to go to the orchid show with Bunny. Charlotte then decides that they will have to have sex at his mother’s house. Trey is all, "People having sex in Connecticut? There’s a first time for everything." Except that his siblings are all in Connecticut having sex with the hired help, like Charlotte’s gardener boy-toy last season.

Miranda and Steve are sitting on a bench having sandwiches, and he tells her that his type of cancer is very trendy now and that everyone, like Lance Armstrong and "that Drew Barrymore guy," get it. Miranda calls it "the TiVo of cancers," and Steve tells her that the surgery is simple; all the doctor has to do is "go in there and snip one out." She asks him if his is in Stage One, since she read up on testicular cancer "on the 'net." Who in the hell still calls the internet "the 'net"? Steve guesses it is Stage One, because the first "stage" is to have the operation. Miranda asks if he's had any ultrasounds or CAT scans done, and he tells her that he "turned [his] head, I coughed, he poked around a little." Miranda wonders what kind of doctor he is, and Steve tells her he got him from his HMO. Miranda then tells him that she talked to some men in her office, and they gave her the name of a specialist to pass along to him. Okay, who would walk around an office, much less a law office, and ask the men about testicular cancer? And what men would go around telling coworkers about their testicular cancer while at work? It might have been more professional to check out a testicular cancer message board on "the 'net" to get the names of some specialists. So anyway, Steve doesn’t want Miranda's help and tells her it isn’t a big deal, and she explodes, telling him it is a big deal because it's cancer, and the longer he sits around and does nothing, the more the cancer could spread and he could die. Steve gets teary-eyed and looks away.

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Sex and the City

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