Carrie fusses at a vanity, in a lovely silver low-cut dress with a -- gag -- white bra visible beneath. Alek enters and says, "Are you coming?" Yes, she's just putting on her earrings. No, he meant to Paris. She hasn't decided yet. Alek says, "More questions? How is it possible?" Carrie wonders if they can't be there for a few months then come back, so it doesn't feel like they're moving. He says he's asking her to go to Paris, "not jail. I need to go to Paris now. I've been here for three years. I'm finished with New York." Ooh! No he di'n't! Oh, snap! Oh, dip! Oh, sweat! Carrie predictably says that she's not finished with New York. Maybe they could do long distance for a while? Alek says that doesn't work for him. Carrie looks her in vanity with an open-mouthed look of "WTF?" She VOs, "Voulez-vous an ultimatum?"
Party scene. It's swanky; everyone's wearing black except for Carrie in her sliver gown, white coat, and white bra. Enid is thrilled to meet Alek, less thrilled to meet her date, one Wallace Shawn. Hee! He's so brilliant, and he worked with Candy Bergen before on Murphy Brown. Remember, Stuart Little, "That's alls I know?" Murphy hates him. His opening gambit is about the weather: looks like some snow will "rival the '74 nor'easter." Hey, what about that blizzard of '77! Me and my mom walked all the way downtown to the Cupping Room for hot chocolate. The snow was taller than me. I was very little. Wow, I'm dating myself. Okay, I was ovum. Barely alive. Never mind. Wallace goes to check his coat, and Carrie whispers about how "sweet" and "smart" he is. Enid hisses, "He's! A! Hobbit!" Oh my god, at my New Year's Eve party some nerds were putting all the party guests into their places: Elf or Hobbit. I was an elf. And I said, you guys are NERDS. Want to play Dungeons and Dragons? Then go back in time to fifth grade and have at it. Then they were all like, "You're the Cate Blanchett," and I was all, thanks, nerds.
The party parties on, and a tall, glamorous woman bellows, "Carrie Bradshaw! Where the FUCK have you been hiding!" She gallops toward Carrie in slow motion. Carrie cringes and tries to fade into the wall, but then the woman -- Lexi Featherington, played winningly by Kristin Johnston, of Third Rock from the Sun and Austin Powers ("Ivana. Ivana Humpalot!") fame -- heads up to the roof for a smoke. Carrie slumps in relief.
Mir and Steve get ready for bed. Mir says, "He's just so...pre-TEN-tious!" Steve is all, are we still talking about him? Wow, do we still need to set up the fact that Miranda hates Alek? Oh, but this time it's how Carrie is around him. "She didn't laugh once at dinner." Steve finally admits that he's "a little full of himself," and Mir screams, "THANK YOU!!" Steve admonishes her not to "wake the kid." They get into bed and spoon. Mir mutters that she thinks Carrie won't go. "She has too much here." Steve says if she does, it will be okay. "You'll talk, you'll visit." Mir looks into the dark glumly and takes Steve's hand and clasps it to her chest. Aww! That's sweet.
Wallace Shawn natters on to Carrie about the best cheddar he ever had. Carrie looks over to the couch, where Enid and Alek sit comfortably, chatting and laughing. She VOs that somehow they switched dates. She excuses herself from Wallace and beelines over to the couch to check up on her guy and her boss. Wow, threatened much, Carrie? Oh, what am I saying, Carrie is like the most insecure person on TV. Enid sees Carrie and is all, "I love this man!" Alek goes to get Enid a drink (she gushes, "Are you always this attentive?"), and after he's gone, Enid says, "Oh Carrie, why aren't I with him." Whoa! Damn! Snap! Dip! Et cetera! I can't believe she said that. I mean, Carrie is a glamorous writer. Enid, an older, far less glamorous editor. And who can explain how love works? It just sort of struck them both out of the blue. Although whether Carrie and Alek are really in love remains a little unclear. Carrie says, "Because I am?" There's a pause, and Carrie asks, "What are you doing?" Enid snaps, "What!" Then, "I'm sorry." Seriously! That's crossing the line. But Enid can't stop with an apology. She says, "It's not fair." She stands up to face Carrie and speak more quietly. When you're a successful fifty-something woman, all the men your age like the "bimbos," and so it's a "very small pool...it's a wading pool, actually. So why are you swimming in my wading pool?" Carrie excuses herself to go to the powder room.