Sex and the City
Splat!

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Anvils go thud. It's what they do.

She VOs that the snow was starting to come down, and in the powder room, it's starting to go up. Lexi is snorting blow, and she didn't lock the door, so Carrie walks in on her. Carrie is all, wow, do people still do coke? What a thing to say! Lexi groans that no, they don't. Hey, remember when they used to go to Tunnel together? They were "like FIVE!" And oh, she's forty, and so glad to see Carrie. "We're the only two single girls here"! Carrie can't keep her mouth shut. "Actually, I'm with someone." Lexi says, "FUCK you!" and laughs, then leaves. Carrie winces and rolls her eyes.

Char is continuing her pitiful scrub of the apartment. Harry calls her, and she snaps that she can't come to bed because SOMEONE left her a little present because SOMEONE is too pregnant to HOLD IT IN. Harry says someone isn't holding it in anymore, and is having puppies in the bathroom. Char whips off her rubber gloves (yellow this time) and runs to help ET. Carrie VOs that Char embraced her maternal instinct, and three puppies that night. Aww. And wow, fastest gestation period ever.

Carrie hangs on Alek's arm as a charming couple explains their life to them: They split their time between L.A. and Calcutta. He edits movies there, and she stays in Calcutta, because "frozen yogurt is not culture." Heh. Then, ultimately, she gets "final Calcutta." Oh, the punning. Stop, before it's too late. The Punners excuse themselves, and Carrie suggests maybe they can do it like them, meaning split the time. Alek says that's not what he wants. He wants to wake up and see her, go to dinner. Every day, not a few months of the year. "You know. Life?" She says she wants to see him every day too, but she has a life in New York. He says, yes, but what does she want to come home to? What does she want her life to be? Wow. That is some deep shit. Lexi comes up and asks Carrie for a light. Carrie says she quit smoking. Wow, good for her. Lexi snarls, "Fuck YOU," and stomps off with her Marc Jacobs gold mesh purse swinging. LOVE the purse. Love the dice charm hanging on it. And I even love Lexi, though she's being the bad party girl right now.

Lexi stomps by Enid and Wallace and asks if THEY have a light. Enid is all, "There's no smoking in here, please go outside." Lexi says, "There is no outside, it's fucking snowing." Then, heels teetering, she bends over to open the floor-to-ceiling window so she can smoke in the living room. Wallace heads over to save the day: No smoking, young lady! Lexi wheels around and starts yelling. "When did everyone stop smoking? When did everyone pair off? This used to be the most exciting city in the world. Now it's all smoking in front of open fucking windows. What happened to FUN! New York is over. O. V. E. R. I'm so bored I could die." Alex smirks, Enid cringes, and the party pays attention to Lexi's rant. It's pretty good, actually. Then, her heel snaps, and she falls through the open window. It's awful. What a self-fulfilling prophecy. What instant karma. Everyone gasps. Carrie hides her head on Alek's shoulder. And Wallace sticks his head out the window to watch her descent, then pulls it back in, apres the thud. Oh, wow. Bye-bye, Lexi. I would have had a light for you!

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Sex and the City

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