Cut to a Japanese noodle bar where Miranda is bitching to Steve about the wailing infant (not Carrie, although a pretty good impression) at the next table. Steve tells her that he likes babies, then spills soup down his shirtfront. Miranda cleans him up; Miranda's mothering skills convince him that they should have a baby. Miranda thinks he's kidding. He's not; he thinks they'd have a "really cute" baby with whom he could watch Sesame Street before going to his bartending job at night. And he adds, "We wouldn't even have to get married." Then we hear more wailing and shrieking. Oh wait, it's not the baby in the restaurant; it's Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who's just awoken from her bed in a cold sweat in her house on the California coast. Miranda vetoes Steve's plan because they "just moved in together," and she doesn't want to have to stay up all night caring for an infant because she already has enough work to do trying to make partner at her law firm. Steve pouts. Miranda tells him that if he keeps doing that his face might freeze that way, and he won't get dessert. Actually, she looks angry and guilty.
Cut to Carrie's Bachelorette Pad, where she's on the phone with CIM while trying to pick out a dress from her wardrobe to wear to that "fabulous party." She invites CIM, who's talking on a cell phone while walking Humpy the dog. CIM is wearing jeans, harness boots, rose-tinted aviator sunglasses, and a blue 1970s vintage denim pullover that barely hides his potbelly and leads me to think that Ali MacGraw might have once used the shirt as maternity wear, and Humpy has a bandanna tied around his neck, which is causing all the other dogs in Central Park to snicker and gesture that Portland and Seattle are thattaway. CIM declines Carrie's invitation to join her at the party, and as they banter ineffectively, the camera lingers on Carrie, who's managed to pull off the difficult feat of being half-dressed but looking twice as frightful than usual by sporting heels, a blue satin Vickie's Secret bra, light blue spangled tap pants, and purple pantyhose whose control top has gotten so power-hungry that it's invaded vast territory past her belly button and up her torso before being halted by her bustline.
Then we're on a yacht in New York Harbor. Carrie VOs that she's at a party for the launch of GAB magazine. Some white guy is singing reggae, and the waiters are carrying around huge trays of tapas on palm fronds. Ew. I bet GAB only lasts three issues. But Carrie VOs that she's having the time of her name-dropping life, and brags that Madonna and Regis Philbin are there. Carrie struts over to Charlotte and Kyle and hands them some champagne glasses. Kyle proceeds to bore Carrie with his "gabbing" about how he met cute with Charlotte in the last episode. Charlotte interrupts and corrects him, and they finish each other's sentences. Carrie tries to act like she's amused and she hasn't heard the story several times before, and didn't tell it to us in voice-over just last week. Instead of putting Kyle in a "man overboard situation," she excuses herself to go the buffet.