Buffet table. Carrie VOs her realization about how happy Charlotte is with Kyle, which is pretty true. Just as Carrie puts a huge cheeseball (foreshadowing?) in her mouth, she turns around and runs right into Mr. Big. He kisses her on the cheek and confesses that he thought he might stalk, er, "run into" her at the party. Carrie wonders where Mrs. Big is. Mr. Big smarms, "She missed the boat." Then an extra bumps into Carrie while reaching towards the buffet table and pushes her against Mr. Big. The extra earns his SAG card and reveals that he's from out of town by saying, "Sorry." Carrie gets uncomfortable and tells Mr. Big that she needs to bolt because Dominick Dunne is holding a place for her in the line for the restroom. Because name-dropping gadfly celebrity hack authors and loudly announcing your bathroom breaks is oh-so-classy. Not. Carrie departs. Mr. Big is all "what the?"
Carrie moves to a lower deck and VOs her apprehension about being stuck with Mr. Big on the yacht. Charlotte comes running up in her orange dress and purple shawl to show Carrie the watch from Cartier that Kyle just gave her. Carrie reads the inscription on the back: "To Charlotte. It's about time I met you." Carrie thinks the watch is "great," although this is the same woman who wore those hideous personalized hoop earrings last episode. Maybe she thinks it's great that Charlotte's getting jewelry without having to perform sexual acts for it. Charlotte runs back to join Kyle, but not before she reminds Carrie and us that she thinks Kyle's "the one." Carrie VOs that one woman's Titanic is another woman's Love Boat; but aren't we really watching a voyage of the Ship of Fools? Big approaches Carrie as she pouts and looks over the railing. He asks her about their little scene on the upper deck. She tries to out-obtuse him by pleading ignorance. They trade small talk for a bit so we remember how much chemistry Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Noth have together, until Big finally asks her if she's seeing someone. She admits that she is, and her new guy is "perfect." She says this while looking down at her designer pumps, because it's easier to tell lies that way and get away with it. Then Big compliments Carrie on her dress, which is a flowing navy silk number with a sailor collar that looks pretty smashing and makes me wish she'd done something sleeker with her hair for an even more refined look, and lost the cumbersome clutch purse that looks like a rolled up fall preview issue of Harper's Bazaar, but what can you do. Carrie tells Big that he would have loved the dress that's being held hostage at her dry cleaner. I don't; I bet the dry cleaner was doing us a big favor. Hopefully the same guy will ruin all of her silk flower accessories, too. Mr. Big just looks at Carrie and beams. Carrie gets uncomfortable, tells Mr. Big that it was nice to see him again, and walks away.
Then we cut to an overhead shot of Carrie in her bed on top of Shamu, as she shags CIM to try to get rid of her "see Mr. Big sickness." Replacing it with the "having sex with Chris in the Morning sickness," I guess. The guy doesn't even take off those nasty leather chokers or his socks, which are black this time. Ew.