Cut to Samantha's apartment. She's checking her Filofax and freaking because her period's five days late.
The ladies room. The Fab Foursome are all foofing (tm Mock) their hair and applying make-up before their communal lunch at Time Café (get it?). Carrie bitches at Charlotte for asking her for a tampon. Charlotte says that she couldn't fit tampons into her designer product placement purse. I'm not a woman, but isn't carrying around stuff like that the reason to lug around a purse? Could the Fab Four be more victimized by fashion? Anyway, Charlotte tells the others that she thinks Kyle's watch implies that he's in love with her. Samantha thinks it just means he has "blue balls." Miranda thinks it means that his "light is on." She explains an analogy: Men are like taxi cabs. When they are ready to get married, they flip their "available" light on, and the next passenger will be the lucky bride. Charlotte refuses to believe this. Miranda tries to convince her that romance is "all about timing" and "getting them when their light is on." We're spared more cynicism as Miranda steps into a bathroom stall. Carrie, who's wearing a fringed red tube top which actually isn't half as ugly and unflattering as Charlotte's black shirtwaist, asks Samantha if she's packing tampons. Samantha wails defensively, "No!" She tearfully confesses that she's late with her period, and thinks she's menopausal -- or, as she says between sobs, "drying up." Miranda steps out of the stall and harshes that Samantha has a "mean case of PMS" regardless. Carrie comforts Samantha by assuring her that she has "years of miserable cramps in front of [her]." But Samantha is inconsolable, and thinks the time is right to make a Big Confession to the other girls: "What I'm about to tell you may come as a shock. I'm a little…older…than you." Charlotte looks shocked, but Miranda and Carrie have "duh" looks on their faces. Over at Owen's apartment, he fell out of his chair from laughing so hard. ["This is the part where I was waiting for Miranda to blurt out, 'Tell us something we don't know!'" -- Nicole]
At Carrie's apartment, it's lip-biting and Apple laptop product-placement time as Carrie cogitates and types out this week's thesis question: Is timing everything?
Over on the tense, angst-ridden set of thirtysomething, Steve is eating a Mohammed-on-Real World San Francisco-sized bowl of cereal and watching cartoons. Miranda asks him to turn the volume on the TV down, since she's trying to do some paperwork in the same room. Steve turns Scooby Doo down half a smidge, but Miranda is still disturbed by Scrappy Do's yipping. Steve looks away briefly from her really odd white television set and tells Miranda that she'll "have to get used to noise when there's a baby around." RUH ROH! I can't imagine a worse thing for Steve to have said. Miranda gets her bitch on and stands in front of the TV to officially dismiss his baby idea. Steve ignores her because a really good Scooby episode is on. Uh, one with Scrappy? Perhaps Miranda is right; Steve needs to grow up, and quick. Miranda tells him to "forget it," passive-aggressively grabs her law books, and stomps out of the room. Oh, and she tells him to use a coaster for his jelly glass and to turn off the lights before going to bed. Seriously. She really goes all out with the mommy shtick this time. Steve pouts.