The next day, Miranda and Carrie are walking down the street. Mir's in a denim jumpsuit thing, which isn't bad, and Car's in an aqua tube top and gray skirt. Not bad either, but the Hermes scarf as an upper-arm bracelet? Never again, please. Mir asks if it's okay to have sex with a guy when you're pregnant with another guy's baby. Please let that be the question of the week. But no -- Carrie's all, "If one more person asks me that today!" Heh. Mir's worried that it's "tacky," and that the "poking" will hurt the baby. "What if he's huge? Will it dent the baby?" Carrie asks where Mir thinks dimples come from. Oh, Miranda, call your fucking OB-GYN and be done with it. The pregnant still get laid. Well, they'd better. If you can't fuck when with child, I am so totally adopting.
In front of Carrie's stoop, Pat Field hobbles out in her funny-old-people printed hat, colorful beads, and aqua top with roses. Oh wait, that's actually Mrs. Cohen, Carrie's soon-to-be-displaced neighbor whose apartment Aidan bought. Carrie helps her down the steps, which takes forever; then Mrs. Cohen barks that she won't be moving for another thirty days. Carrie's all, "What?" Because she's feeling cramped. Mrs. Cohen is all, "Read the contract!" and totters off.
Carrie walks through her door, and Aidan is all, "Hey, where ya been, whaddya know!" Carrie gets a little attitudinal as she relays the news of old Mrs. Cohen not leaving for thirty days. Aidan starts hopping up and down, screaming, "Fuck, fuck, fuck! What the fuck are we going to do now?!" Carrie is pleased that Aidan isn't thrilled about the term of extended crampiness either. Aidan says they have to make some room for all these boxes and shit. "We could make room for it if you clean out your closet…?" A gong sounds, and the camera zooms in on Carrie's shocked face.
Aidan trips down a ladder, his arms filled with shoeboxes. The shoeboxes, Carrie informs him, are to go on clean towels in the bathroom. Aidan asks how many pairs of shoes a person needs. Carrie says, "That is not the question to ask if you want to get out of this alive." Word. Aidan says he needs half of Carrie's closet space. And she never wears most of this stuff anyway. Car yells, "YET. I don't wear most of this stuff YET." He waves a Roberto Cavalli beige sheer top with raggy bits sewn on, and demands to know when and where she could wear that thing. She can recall the date and place the top debuted. Aidan looks bummed that she can't let go of a raggedy old top, and Carrie VOs that she's "holding onto an outfit, and losing a relationship." Seriously. I mean, I love my stuff, but I can make a sacrifice. It's called eBay; give it a spin. ["Give her a break. She practically just got email last week." -- Sars] Carrie walks into the bathroom and sees Petey the dog chewing on an aqua Manolo Blahnik heel. She. Freaks. OUT. The shoe is circa 1996, and can't be bought now. Again, dogs are dogs; they do dog stuff. I'd freak out for a few minutes, then stop. It's just stuff. You can't snuggle with a shoe. Well, some people do. Great, now I just grossed myself out. Anyway, Aidan apologizes for Pete, but asks what she expects "with all [her] shit lying around." Carrie screeches that her shit wouldn't be lying around if HIS shit weren't lying around. She grabs a box of his bathroom stuff, and asks if he's a "crazy bag man" that needs five deodorants ("they're different smells!" he says), old razors, Rogaine…Carrie didn't know he used Rogaine. Aidan screams that he doesn't want to talk about it, and Carrie VOs that guys have Secret Single Behavior too. Well, motherfucking duh! It's called porn! And, I don't know, maybe eating nothing but oatmeal for dinner. And air guitar. Oh no, Carrie told Aidan to shut up. This won't go well. Total meltdown, with lots of shut-ups back and forth, and Aidan kicking shoeboxes, and Carrie hollering that she's going for a walk so Aidan can put on his Speed Stick and his Rogaine with his shoe-eating dog for company.