Reception. Carrie VOs that Mir never had a problem with the eating part weddings. Well, duh. She's not a supermodel. At a table far from the happy couple, Char is shocked when Sam blurts out, "I have cancer." I love Sam's lack of cushioning. She's blunt. Me like.
Steve's Maaa, brilliantly played by Anne Meara, congratulates Miranda. She compliments her on the color of her wedding dress: A deep rusty burgundy velvet. It's gorgeous. Maaa says, "It's brave, your not pretending." Pretend? Please. Mir can barely pretend she isn't annoyed as hell at this conversation. When Maaa says she has a confession to make about her wedding day, Mir practically sighs out loud in impatience. Maaa plows ahead anyway. She wore white on her wedding day, but she shouldn't have. She slipped. Once. God forgive her. When she walked down the aisle at St. Agnes, she wore white on the outside, and "her little Jackie on the inside." Mir has a smile plastered on her face like they're talking about the Yankees. Maaa's face, of course, is contorted with the pain of a too-long pent-up confession finally coming out. Maaa takes a swig of her drink in relief. Mir waits, still smiling in horror. She takes a beat, then another, then says, "Steeeve?" Steve takes over and gets his Maaaa some food. What about some lithium crushed up on ice cream? How's that sound?
Mir joins her three girlfriends at the table. They all sing-song, "Hiiii!" Then they all fall silent. The elephant in the room clears his throat. Cough-cough-CANCER-cough. Mir looks at them all sharply and asks why they're being weird. What? Oh nooo. Not them. Ahem-tumor. Mir is all, "You think I'm an asshole, that I've become one of them, that I'm a Stepford bride." An chorus of "Noooo"s erupts. God, I love that movie. Want a spoiler? Okay. It's in the quiz. QUICK POLL What was the real deal with the Stepford wives? They were robots. They were aliens. They were possessed by Satan. This movie sounds AWESOME!
Mir demands to know what the girls were talking about. Sam demurs, saying it'll ruin her special day. Mir barks, "Forget about my special fucking day, just be normal, please, I beg of you." Seriously. She's an adult. She's not precious at all. Sam is trying to be polite and protect her, but it's better to just tell people the bad news and let them deal with it then. No one likes to be told bad news later more. So Sam says it: I have cancer. Mir takes a breath in, and I get a lump in my throat, again. "What?" Sam goes, "See? Now it's my special fucking day." Mir gets tearful, and Sam says gently, "No tears! I expected more from you." Char says this is why they didn't want to tell her. "Now go back to your people and we'll talk about this later." Mir says rapidly, "You are my people and we'll talk about it now." She wants to know everything, starting from the beginning. Carrie says, "You are the bossiest bride in the world." Mir says yes she is, and they have to do everything she says. The camera pulls away from the table as Sam recalls the details of her experience. Carrie VOs that "for better or worse, we were all ourselves that day. Just the way Miranda wanted it." Sniff!