Brunch with the girls. I have to say I totally agree with that excellent New York Times Magazine article about how this show makes one long for more time to spend with one's girlfriends. There's a lot of people I'd like to have brunch with every week, or go out to meals with on a regular basis, and there's just no time. Damn you, New York Times Magazine article, for defining another aspect of my life so perfectly! Anyway, in a cute vintage-looking stripy shirt and Cacharel-looking, crazy-print kimono jacket, Carrie spills the beans: she had "accidental phone sex with Big." Oh, is that where that husky voice was going? What a huge surprise. Mir is intrigued, but Char doesn't see why Carrie would need or want to drag all that "Big baggage" out when she's "in a serious relationship with Berger." Carrie says she's not in a serious relationship; she and Berger are just dating. And "it's not baggage, it's Biggage!" Anyway. Big's no more threat to Berger than Lauren is to her. "It's all in the past." She's so confident! Which can only mean one thing: comeuppance. Brady begins to cry, and Mir digs into her diaper bag for a pacifier. She finds a tabloid newspaper and a twelve-pack of condoms. Steve's condoms, for use with Debbie. Carrie cracks, "Where do they do it, Gymboree?" Sam purrs, "Debbie Does Daycare." Heh. Brady gums a (wrapped, mind you) condom, and Mir blanches. Sam reassures her. "Don't worry, I have those in my mouth all the time."
Back at home post-brunch, Carrie sits with her laptop and muses on relationships in grammatical terms. You know, past tense, present tense, future perfect tense. "How much does that past relationship remind one of a future perfect?" And she couldn't help but wonder: "Can you get to a future if your past is present?" Hmm.
Sam sticks her toes in Hottie Waiter's ear. Does he have to leave? Yeah, he has to pull another shift at the restaurant. He got fired from his other gig, remember? Sam offers him something: $300. That's what A-List Catering staff gets. He looks at the bills, then tosses them down, saying, "Lady, you are out of your fucking mind." She looks shocked and disappointed that he refuses the cash. Honey, didn't you ever see BUtterfield 8? NO SALE!