Sam prattles on to Jerry that she told TRL that the Absolut Hunk wanted to do some modeling, and they said they wanted him "ASAP. Gucci, YSL, D&G, take your pick." B.A.R.F. Wouldn't TRL want some Old Navy cargos and an Avril tie? Or some red chaps a la Xtina? And isn't he a little, well, seasoned for TRL? Jerry says he'd rather wear jeans and a faded army green tank. Oof, Mama like. Sam is fine with it too, since he looks good like that. He goes, "How'd I get hooked up with such an understanding girlfriend." He hugs Sam to him, and her eyes start darting around like minnows in a stream. What'd he say? A what-friend? Girl-who? Hooked up with the whaaa? Sam takes a few steps away from him and says that since he's so hot right now, maybe it'd be best for him to say he's "still looking" for the right person. Jerry is all, "Samantha." Sam wants him to stay mum on their whole dealy, okay? And she insists on some Dior sunglasses, because "if the kids watching MTV don't see you wearing something they can't afford, how can they look up to you?" She slides them on his face, and perhaps feeling more comfortable with his eyes obscured, she smiles.

Charlotte languishes in front of her closet. So many padded hangers. Mommie Dearest would be thrilled. But then she comes to her old wedding dress, hanging among the slips, and she fades a bit. Dude -- wouldn't that be in storage? Well, if she keeps a Christmas tree in the place, why not a wedding gown.

Mir, holding Brady, tries to beg her way out of going to Bed. She thinks hot club openings are for "hot childless people." And she's feeling not so hot at the moment. Carrie badgers her to make it -- "no excuses!" And so Mir hangs up, sighs, and heads to her closet with more than a little trepidation. Towards her No Excuses jeans. Wow, I don't think I've ever seen those on a live person before. And I find it so hilarious that a smart woman like Miranda would wear jeans endorsed by Gennifer Flowers and people of that ilk.

They fit. They're a little Jordache-esque, but still look good. Nice dark rinse, smooth zip. She wears them to the club with a black tank top and a nice narrow double-wrapped brown belt. Mir is ecstatic to be able to fit into her skinny jeans. "The last time they fit was in 1985, and that was because [she] had mono." Sam, in a slashed and sewn New York Dolls shirt -- and I have and wear a pink New York Dolls tank top ALL THE TIME, it's one of my favorite summery tanks -- says that Mir has a "hot ass." Mir says she's never taking her skinny jeans off again, so may she wear them to Charlotte's wedding? Char makes a face, and says she's sorry she ever made a big deal about her second engagement, particularly since they were all there for the first time around. So she wants this wedding to be more low-key. Mir asks, "No denim?" Not even just that. No bridesmaids. Char hopes the girls don't mind. Not even a bit. They all whoop and cheer.