Okay, TRL is on. Lala does the intro for Smith Jared! Give it up! WOOOOO! WOOOOO! God, I hate TRL. No, I don't. I hate the WOOOOOs. Jerry says the hunk thing has been good so far, and no, he's "still looking" for a girlfriend. Lala asks again, he's not seeing anyone? Jerry says "no one special," and Sam flinches yet again. Wow, she doesn't like "girlfriend," and she doesn't like "no one special." I kind of feel her on that -- the phrase to use is nothing serious. That leaves a wide open field. So, Sam kisses the Guido on the stool next to hers. The Guido's girlfriend and her three scary Hysterical Blindness-esque posse of mean girls come up and say they're going to kick Sam's ass and "slap the shit" out of her. So, Carrie and Sam scream and run away. Dude, where's the giant can of hair spray? Whip it out and beat the "city girls" with it! Once out on the sidewalk, Carrie remarks that the evening is turning into a "total bust." Not so fast. Sam scored a joint with her $20, too. So, they light up right in the street. Ah, memories. Sam takes a big hit and says, in that tight holding-in-smoke voice, "Fucking men!' Carrie takes a hit and says, also sounding choked, "Men are bullshit!" They smoke and talk about how being someone's girlfriend never leads anywhere good. Then Jerry calls, and Sam strolls away to find better reception on her cell phone. Carrie puffs quickly on the joint and VOs to herself that today will only be the day she broke up with Berger, waah. Then the cops roll up and arrest her for smoking weed. Shit.
Carrie's in the cop car, and her three friends stand on the sidewalk and plead with the cop. Mir's a lawyer and a mother, and her friend is very law-abiding. Except for the weed thing. Char explains that she just broke up with her boyfriend. Sam finishes, "With a Post-It." The cop says, "That didn't happen." Carrie knocks on the window and shows him the Post-It. The cop says wow, then knocks her offense down to smoking in a bar. Sam pleads, "Come on, can't you let her off?" The cop deadpans, "I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me." I laugh out loud for a while.
The girls dive into an ice cream sundae. Carrie's totally high, still, and giggles at the fact that today will be remembered as the day she got arrested for "smoking a doobie. Ha ha ha, I said doobie!" Wow, I hope I never have a day like that. When I do smoke the doobage, or the diggety dank, or the weed, I laugh when I remember how Kool-Aid used to jump through a wall when people got thirsty, and just saying "ohhh YEEEAH!" makes me giggle for minutes. Char says some horrible thing about how Berger's Post-It was her "get out of jail free" card, and Sam says Char is killing her buzz. Yeah, Char, and Carrie wouldn't have even wanted the weed if Berger hadn't have dumped her! Ya idjit. Oh yeah! Carrie says she remembers what it was she learned from Berger, but then it's gone in a weed haze. Poof, there it was. Poof, there it was. Mir says if she hadn't met Steve and had Brady, she never would have had no time to eat and lost the weight to fit into her jeans. And Char says she wants bridesmaids after all! But not the matching dresses. The girls all giggle as the day that started with a split ends with a banana split.