Kyle and his brother are playing tennis while Carrie tells us that after two months of marriage to Kyle, Charlotte's marriage looked like a bed of roses to everyone. Charlotte is sitting with her mother- and sister-in-law watching the boys play. Kyle's brother won't let the girls play with them because they are wearing pastels, since only whites are permitted when playing tennis; Kyle suggests that they bend the rules one time. Kyle's mom yells at Kyle that his father would roll over in his grave if he heard that, and Sister-In-Law tells Charlotte that there is a book of rules for being a MacDougal. Who in the hell has a dress code at their own home? Freaks! Mom thinks that a family's history is important. Charlotte just wants to know what the rules are. She goes to change her clothes, and Carrie tells us that Charlotte's history with Kyle was bad enough, because after a few weeks of trying to have a sex life, Kyle gave up. Okay, if Charlotte tried so hard in last week's episode to have a sex life and something worked, at least for a few minutes, don't you think she would work even harder to keep it going? I swear, the writers are killing me with the way they are just ignoring past storylines. It is becoming like Beverly Hills, 90210. Zamfir's pan flute music starts playing in the background as Charlotte walks down a garden path and sees the gardener working on some rose bushes in the shape of anvils, his perfect chest and abs glistening with sweat. Charlotte gets moist.
The girls are eating sushi and Charlotte tells them how attracted she is to the gardener, and that couldn't keep her eyes off of his perfect body. She feels bad because she is married and shouldn't be thinking about the gardener, and Samantha asks, "What's the use of being in the suburbs if you're not gonna fuck a gardener?" Miranda wants to know if the guy will water plants in Manhattan. As Charlotte frets, Miranda sees Natasha coming into the restaurant. She tells Carrie not to look up, so of course she does, and she and Natasha make eye contact. Natasha give her the stink-eye and whispers something to the woman standing next to her and that woman gives Carrie the stink-eye and then they turn around and leave. Carrie gets all upset and can't believe that someone in New York hates her so much. Carrie, there are people all over North America that hate you! Don't just limit yourself to the city!
Carrie tells us that she was so upset over Natasha giving her looks that kill that the only way to feel better was to go shopping. Somehow she got lost, and as she walks down a deserted street, you can see the atrocity wrapped around her body that she believes is a dress. The giraffe spots are proportional to an adult giraffe, which is about fifty times larger than Carrie, and the dress looks about fifty sizes too big for her. She sees someone walking down the street and as she asks for directions the guy pulls out a gun and mugs her. He takes her pocketbook, her rings, and her Manolo Blahniks. Carrie pleads for her shoes, and channels her role as Nell in Dudley Do-Right with this little quivering voice and big eyes. She complains to us that after living in the city for fifteen years she gets mugged. She walks into an Asian salon and yells out that she has been robbed. Everyone looks at her, and then goes back to what they were doing.
As she is telling a detective what happened, Miranda comes in with a pair of her shoes to give Carrie, and Carrie introduces the detective to Miranda. The detective looks interested in Miranda, makes a lame joke about Miranda's rights, and asks her for her card so he can call her. Carrie shuffles out in Miranda's shoes, which are about five sizes too big. They go with her too-big dress.