Miranda walks the detective up to her apartment and tells him that she would invite him in, but she has a big day in the morning, so they share a hot and heavy kiss at her door. He tells her he will call her, and she stumbles into her apartment. Carrie tells us that Miranda thought she hit the cosmic jackpot.
Samantha and Carrie are walking down the stairs of the dorm, when two guys push past them and Carrie gets pushed down the stairs. As they are outside trying to get a cab, Carrie is complaining that her karma is getting her. Natasha fell down the stairs, and now she fell down the stairs, and now she can't get a cab, and normally she can always get a cab. Samantha wonders what her karmic connection is to Sam Jones, and then she decides that it is her duty to deflower him and let him have a great first time, like she didn't have. Honestly, did any woman have a good first time? I wonder if it is actually physically possible for a woman to have a good first time. My first time I felt like I was being stuffed like a turkey. As taxis are driving past the girls, they keep shouting out to them and waving their arms and Carrie actually yells out "Wazzuuh!" to a taxi. If someone yelled that out to me, I would drive away too.
Meanwhile, Charlotte is having American Beauty dreams of having sex with the gardener surrounded by roses, with Lord of the Dance music playing in the background. Her dream is so realistic to her that she is moaning and groaning in bed and knocking her head up against the headboard. Kyle wakes her up and tells her she was having a bad dream. Just bad for you, Kyle!
Carrie tells us that later that week she decided to take matters into her own hands. As she is wearing a bedazzled Beastie Boys shirt, she calls Natasha at work, and her assistant tells her that she is in a meeting. Carrie tells her she will wait, and the assistant tells her she will be waiting forever. Carrie doesn't get the clue and tells her she will keep waiting.
Carrie tells us that "the next week, Charlotte flirted with her own karma." Charlotte walks over to the gardener and starts flirting with him. She asks what kind of roses he is working on, and he tells her it is a special hybrid of -- everyone say it with me now -- American Beauty. They start to make out, and Sister-In-Law sees them.
Sam Jones comes over to Samantha's place to apologize for all the calls, and then he tells her that he has been waiting for a woman like her all his life. He jumps her bones, and then we see the two of them going at it, but mostly we see Sam hootin' and hollerin' and Samantha's legs flying around. After a number of different positions we can see on Samantha's face that she is wondering what in the hell is going on, and when will it end. Sam finally bounces off Samantha and lies down next to her. Samantha is wearing a slip, and you would think that for this guy's first time she would be naked for him. Sam tells Samantha that he is in love with her, and Samantha blows him off and tells him to leave.