Carrie tells us later that night, the MacDougals were enjoying cocktail hour...As they are all sitting around drinking, S-I-L tells them that she had a wonderful day riding horses in the morning and taking a walk around the grounds in the afternoon, and seeing Charlotte making out with the gardener. Charlotte looks mortified, but Mother tells her, "You're a MacDougal now!" Kyle looks at her like it is no big deal. End of scene. Huh? What the hell? Are all the MacDougal men lifeless in bed? Are the gardeners bred to be the MacDougal women's lovers? What's the story?!
Samantha checks her answering machine, and there are thirty-five messages. They are all from Sam Jones, and they start off friendly and become more and more desperate. She looks over at her stove and finds a rabbit boiling in a pot.
Carrie tells us that, across town, Miranda met her karmic treasure for dinner. They are sharing witty conversation, and Miranda downs a double vodka martini. She looks around and notices that every woman in the restaurant is staring at her date. She starts thinking that the women are wondering what a good-looking guy is doing with her, so she starts drinking more to feel better about herself. Carrie tells us, "Six vodka martinis later, she was feeling pretty damn good." They stumble into Miranda's apartment, and detective tells her she is a little drunk. Pretty good deduction there, Detective. Did you figure that out all by yourself? They start going at it in the hallway, and Miranda pulls him to the door of her bedroom. She yells out, "I'm no Mena Suvari, but I'm great in bed!" and she pushes him into her bedroom. What the fuck is with all the American Beauty references? Why? Did the writers do this all on a dare or challenge or something?
Charlotte finds Kyle out on the tennis court at night, in his boxers, practicing his serve. In the position he is standing in, he should be serving the balls into the side of the court that Charlotte is standing in, and since she is standing right at the net he should be serving balls right into her chest. Instead, the balls are going into the other side. Well, if the writers are slacking, I guess the continuity people can slack too. I guess they're getting tired, since it is the penultimate episode of the season. Charlotte apologizes for what happened. He tells her that, since he can't meet her needs, she will need to find it elsewhere, and that even though he doesn't like it, he will need to look the other way. She tells him that she wants a husband who makes her not want to kiss the gardener. He tells her that no marriage is perfect, and that they can have separate lives and still be together. Charlotte tells him that when they get back to the city they should separate for a while. He says, "All righty."
Carrie is at home smoking; she tells us that she called Natasha seven times and she still hadn't returned her call. Why would she? Why would she want to hear from the woman who broke up her marriage? Carrie tells us that Buddhists believe that you pay for what you do in this life in your next life. Of course, this isn't good enough for Carrie, and she decides that she needs to be forgiven now. What a selfish bitch. I don't know who Carrie thinks she is, that she could just say "I'm sorry!" to someone whose life she turned upside down, and think that it would make everyone's life better. Didn't she learn when she confessed to CIM about the affair, that confessing and apologizing doesn't do anything but hurt the other person and make them feel like shit? Carrie wins the Golden Stepladder award, for the character in most need of getting over herself.