Sex and the City
What's Sex Got To Do With It?

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Carrie tells us she was on her second date with MM, and they went to three jazz clubs in one night. They are at his apartment, and he is chopping vegetables, and she asks where he learned how to chop. He tells her the Jersey Shore, and when she tries to ask if that is where he is from, he stops her and listens to a bass solo playing on his record player. Carrie confesses that she doesn’t like jazz, and MM feigns fainting. He asks her why, and she tells him that it doesn’t sound like anything but random sounds, and he tells her, “You’ve gotta stop trying to make it be something else and appreciate it for what it is.” Yeah, random sounds. MM then grabs Carrie and starts to use her as his bass. She feels a little uncomfortable, as would any woman that is being used as a musical instrument, and asks if he knows how to use all the instruments he has hanging from the ceiling in the kitchen. He tells her he learns a few notes and then moves on to something new. Then he puts his hand down her pants, and she tells us she started to appreciate jazz.

The girls are at a bar, and Carrie tells them she spent last night listening to jazz while giggling like the fourteen-year-old she turns into when it comes to talking about sex and relationships. Samantha has a look on her face like, “That’s great. Finish what you are saying so I can tell you all my news!” Carrie then tells them that she “had the most intense orgasm of [her] entire life.” And that she usually doesn’t have orgasms like that unless she is in love. Charlotte thinks that this guy may be “the one,” but Carrie thinks it may just be a fluke, so she's going back tomorrow to find out. Miranda then announces that she is going on a sex strike. Samantha tells her she is just in a slump, and Miranda tells her that it started as a slump but now it is a conscious effort. Miranda had sex in the last episode. So from one episode to the next, it is considered a slump? Carrie just had sex for the first time this season -- was she in a major slump before? No, she wasn’t, and it didn’t bother her in the least. Could the writers make Miranda a more pathetic pod-person version of her original self? Miranda then tells the girls that she would rather be “home alone than out with someone who sells socks on the internet.” You know, someone who sells socks on the internet may have a fun personality. She got all upset last year because men were turned off by the fact she was an attorney -- maybe she should be a little less concerned with men’s professions. And an internet sock salesman sounds better than some guy dressed up as a sandwich, like the one she was attracted to last season. God, Miranda’s life has really gone into the shitter in the last year. I really wish the writers would watch the first and second seasons and see what Miranda is really supposed to be like so that we can all stop yelling at the television and wondering who kidnapped the real Miranda. So then Samantha tells the girls that she has started a relationship with Sonia Braga and is now a lesbian, and the girls are all stunned. Sonia walks into the bar, and Samantha goes over to greet her. The girls all have big fake smiles on and wave hello, and Sonia is all, “I see you told them.”

Charlotte, Miranda, and Carrie are walking down the street together, and Carrie is sporting a red, white, and blue blob on her head that looks like it could be made of yarn, but I’m not quite sure. I can’t believe the girls let her go out in public looking like that. I think I saw a woman around town with a “hat” like that last week. She lives at the Central Virginia Training Center. That’s one of those “special schools,” if you know what I mean. I wonder if that's where Patricia Fields got that thing. Carrie and Miranda complain that you can’t just wake up one day and become a lesbian, and Charlotte thinks that Samantha just ran out of men. Miranda yells out, “Then you go on strike, you don’t eat pussy!” Carrie and Charlotte are disgusted that Miranda just said “eat pussy.” Poor Cynthia Nixon. What a sad, sad character she has to portray now. Why would someone go on a sex strike if she ran out of men? Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of denying men the pleasure of her body? That’s like saying that the Ethiopians went on a hunger strike. Carrie then complains that she was “up-sexed” by Samantha after she told them about her mind-blowing orgasm. Shut up, Carrie. And get a hat that wasn’t stolen from Disco Stu’s closet.

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Sex and the City

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