Round 1: Tony. For which not even Fiona is rooting, so quit it.

Everybody takes off and Kev says something very sweet to Fiona about her oatmeal, which makes him okay for a while, and then Frank shows up to do Sheila's "shopping," which means stealing food from Fiona's kitchen. He talks about how she pays for the food with food stamps, for which he indirectly pays through taxes, which he does not pay, and it's OTT and all the usual Frank shit, and then poor Tony shows up and Kev does some lewd shit to him and it's back on. Veronica deserves much better, I'm sorry. He's not even cute.

Fiona digs the flowers out of the garbage, and he goes I had a really good time last night and I like you, Fiona and I've waited a long time for last night to happen, and she is a whiz of deflection: "Coach of the Year's a big deal!" He explains a few times that last night was his First Time, and she resists beyond the telling of it understanding that he's saying what he's saying, and then boom cut to sitting in the parlor with Veronica, feeling weird about it.

"Holy shit! You popped his cherry!" She admits he wasn't half bad, and when Veronica asks if he cried afterward Fiona defends him and his whole sweet doggie thing as usual. Immediately Veronica calls her out for the Steve aspect of all this, and Fiona can barely defend against it at this point because it's so obvious. "You never looked at the other 95 guys that way," she laughs, and Fiona just tokes the joint and grins, "Don't exaggerate: 94."

See, slutty is better: Just own it and you can have it all, anything you want. You're so novel! You can keep your time to yourself! You don't need date insurance! You can go out with whoever you want to! Every boy! Every boy in the whole world could be yours! Veronica starts talking about how Steve's awesome and Fiona's doing him dirty and when you say "kidnapped my father to a foreign country" you're stacking the deck, because Canada is hardly a foreign country. Except for horrible Quebec.

There's an awkward scene in which point A is this conversation and point B is Fiona opening the door while laughing, but instead of writing a funny conversation to get from A to B, they've decided to just wing it. Essentially Fiona likes the part of Tony where he's not "getting all in my family's business," because that's the problem with Steve, and then they talk about Tony's insane mother and how "the neighborhood bitches" have probably already told her about the fucking in the car, and so his crazy mother probably will come shoot Fiona with a gun.