Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Loser Goes to Gitmo
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Debbie's out in the yard with a broken stroller, talking to a doll and stoutly ignoring Fiona, who needs her to do her morning-time stuff -- shower, breakfast -- because Fiona keeps the trains running and everybody's just a cog in the machine. Instead, Debbie would like Carl to come out and play, although Fiona cautions her that last time she ended up locked in the basement for half a day.

"That was on purpose! We were playing Loser Goes to Gitmo."

Carl just keeps getting awesomer. Fiona tells Debs to get rid of the stroller, which is broken and makes them look trashy, so Debbie finally comes inside and starts whirling around the kitchen like an insane person: "Anyone want to make some tollhouse cookies with me? How about a pie? I can get started on the crust!" Just twirling and knocking things around and talking a mile a minute.

Frank, to the extent that he ever lived anywhere or lives anywhere, left the house for Sheila's in the same week that Aunt Ginger came and went. Ginger was an even better pet for Debbie than Frank is, because she cared for Debbie right back. This is the sort of weakness Steve, Fiona's boyfriend, will no doubt be exploiting, but I can't believe Fiona's actually going to need this explained to her.

But then, the repurposing of Frank is ruining daughters all over town, apparently. And Fiona's busy getting the news from Lip and Ian that the hot water heater is busted. All that yelling about showers, and this is what happens. Meanwhile Debbie is putting her foot down, making a pretty scary stern face, about the pie she is going to be making. Lip grabs the obituaries and they discuss various old people whose deaths might have freed up a water heater, and Debbie is quite cross with everyone and their lack of precision: "Mrs. Goga had the shaky neck, and she drowned. In her own vomit, last Easter."

Luckily, she came back three days later. Fiona gets hardcore with Debbie, who is even less interested in a shower now that it's cold water, and Carl stinks and is being weird, and Debbie refuses to explain why she's being so totally manic and weird, and then it's on to the next thing, Liam's diaper.

A few streets over at Sheila's, Frank notices they're preparing for a party across the way, and even though it's windy and cold he's all, "Great day for a party!" Being informed that it's a kids' party and thus dry, Frank slams the window and cripples over to his ass pillow at the kitchen table, where Sheila is being a nutcase as usual and asking how he wants his eggs. Karen doesn't even look up, until Eddie slams his way back into the house with an overnight bag and heads down to the basement. Just when you think there's going to be some kind of "Get out of my house and stop fucking my wife" you remember that Eddie loves only clowns.

Kev is finding it hard to concentrate on the constant sex he and Veronica are always having, because once again the Gallaghers are trooping through -- first Debbie, then Carl, toothbrushes and towels in hand -- so Veronica blows him to shut him up, kicking the door closed with one elegant pointed foot. This would be when I started my weekly wondering about why somebody as fantastic as Veronica would ever care about Kev, who mostly seems to be a penis that bitches incessantly. But as they say, if you thought about the reasons people are with other people you'd eventually want to kill yourself.

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