Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: D

"So, what have you allowed to be stolen today?" Nice. Linda informs Kash that optimism is "for children and presidents, not for mini-mart owners in a land of 30 million jobless," and then Ian comes back in with the replacement merchandise, which Linda figures out in exactly one second, even down to the fact that it was "the Milkovich kid again." (This is, I surmise, when everybody watching decided maybe Linda was okay after all.) She flips the OPEN sign and locks the front door, grabs a Nascar cardboard stand-up guy, and drags both guys out to the alley behind the store. Linda has a badassness, now let's see it go.

Sheila's dressing Frank for Parents' Night, so grateful and so happy for Karen and so insistent that Frank ask one million questions and report every single detail back to her. Which is asking a lot, so then she blows him also. Which I think is the first time she's done anything sexual that I recognize as something people do, a thing about which I've had questions.

Apparently Lip missed one question on the entire test. "No, I didn't. The wording is ambiguous. You're gonna get mail on that," he grins, tapping the paper. It's clear the guy is having all kinds of Good Will Hunting feelings about Lip, which is nice, and he tries to explain to Lip the extreme, the statistically relevant, awesomeness of him, but I think maybe Lip already knows how his life is going to go. Maybe he stopped hoping a long time ago.

"Punishment or redemption, your choice." I don't know what the choice is, because the punishment is that all those scores will be invalidated, but that's happening anyway? And then as far as redemption, the guy works at UC and wants him to come visit and maybe solve some equations or whatever. So the guy never actually says what the redemption or the punishment will be, except that if Lip ever takes a test for somebody again he will personally locate Lip and beat him senseless.

Linda takes aim at the cardboard fellow and puts a bunch through his head. "Lived a lot of years before I met you," she sort of explains, and then Kash does a not-great job with the gun, but then old ROTC Ian comes along and calls every shot: "Left shoulder. Right shoulder. Left leg. Right leg. Stomach. Neck. Face. Heart." If he were just a few years older, that would be the hottest thing I've ever seen on television in my entire life. As it is, aww Ian. What they really need to do is gang up on Kash. That would serve everybody's needs perfectly.

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