Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Fake Empire

Steve comes to the chopshop with a second Cayenne, looking for payment, because he's also supposed to be getting out of town, and he can't ask Fiona to run away with him -- or whatever he's planning -- until he takes care of the boys. He's up against the clock not only of Tony, but also of this Lip and Ian situation: Fiona has to come away with him, but getting her son/brothers arrested is going to queer that deal, so it has to be done right. He tells the guy to hold onto his fee for the Cayenne, and heads off.

Meanwhile, though, Tony's working overtime to get the Gallagher boys released. He tells the cop truthfully how they're good kids -- "Lip's bright as hell, doing great at school; Ian's in ROTC, wants to join the Marines. They wouldn't have been in that car if they knew it was stolen... I promise I'll kick their asses up and down the block" -- but the guy won't budge because he wants the name of the thief. Well, they're South Side, so they'll never snitch, and anyway he ends up getting them off with Bears tickets. The whole family arrives to pick them up, with the usual Explosions-lite music playing, and Tony watches happily from the sidelines. Fiona doesn't even notice him there.

While attending to Carl's cavity search questions, Lip's first order of business back home is to check in once again on Karen. Still no answer; he's starting to get worried. He should. Carl continues to ask pestering jail-type questions until Fiona sends Lip for a shower and corners Ian alone. He doesn't technically tell her the car was Steve's, because in the absence of Steve she's clearly losing her damn mind, and then randomly comes out to her, and she's like, "Duh. You're still in trouble." It's possibly sweet, but comes off -- for the first time in the history of Ian -- a little pandering. If they'd had a conversation in a while maybe it would be more of a moment, but it seems unlikely that anybody would expect Fiona to have a problem with Ian's sexuality. Even Ian, at this point.

Karen takes her time editing together the video of her fucking Daddy Frank, and then just before she sends it to everybody in the universe -- subject line FATHER OF THE YEAR, awesomely -- we cut to Frank at the bar, where he's pleasantly surprised to hear that his sons were in jail and are now out of it. What happens next is, Frank blames rape and incest victims for a while, graphically, Shakespearianly, no thank you, we're done.

Tony's Nameless Partner: "Season tickets? Playoffs too? Jesus, this Fiona better be the best pussy you ever had."
True Enough: "She's the only pussy I ever had."

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