Shameless

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Canadian Reach-Around

Ian and Lip head upstairs so Ian can change clothes; Lip tells him to fight back next time. "If I ever do, I'll fucking kill him," Ian admits, and Lip lights him a joint, rolling his eyes with the desperate horror. "Eight to ten for manslaughter. Get laid as often as you want. Tattoos and everything. It's gay heaven, man!" Ian is in no mood.

Frank can't find any clean clothes in his disgusting room, so he turns the Modelo T-shirt inside out and backwards and puts on a hoodie and jacket to cover the stain, rampaging off through the city while Steve stalks him in his latest car. He thinks really hard about the right course of action, and then I guess thinks better of that.

That night, Kev closes up with a man still asleep on the bar; when he comes in the next morning the guy is still there. He drops an egg in a beer for the old fella -- long hair, beard -- and that's breakfast. Debbie goes running down the street stealing newspapers, while Ian meets Veronica for a little stealing. She flirts with a delivery man, whose girlfriend had some kind of psychotic break and ended up stabbing him with a cheese knife, while Ian steals a variety of dairy products from his truck. Veronica's hotness is bewildering as usual.

Everybody runs back and forth between the two houses, trading dairy and coupons; Conrad's jamming out in his truck so hard that he doesn't notice Frank passed out on the street. Lip feeds Liam while Debbie clips coupons, and when Ian asks for pizza for breakfast Fiona directs him to healthier fare. Fiona grabs the morning's mail from the indoor welcome mat -- Fuck The Dog... Beware of the KIDS! -- and realizes it's the last Friday of the month: Disability Day, Frank's Christmas. So then where is his alcoholic ass, if not waiting for the check?

Carl is licking the tops of his sunny-side-up eggs when Steve arrives with donuts, and they explain it's because they remind him of breasts, and that's what Carl's up to today, I guess. "I brought all the essential morning food groups," Steve protests when Fiona nags him about healthy breakfast food: "Caffeine, sugar, lard." They discuss last night and Steve's sweet as usual -- "Never apologize for your parents. Believe me, I don't" -- and the family realizes that what they thought was Frank sleeping behind a chair in the living room is actually Ian's tent drying out for his ROTC training in Wisconsin next week.

"I thought it was Dad," Debbie admits hilariously. "I left him a cup of coffee this morning. I thought I heard him say Thanks."

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Shameless

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