It's Time To Kill The Turtle

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Real or Not Real

It's been an hour and a half and Frank and Sheila are reduced to Go Fish. They should sic Ethel on her, or vice versa, considering last week she was this close to keeping Liam forever -- and because they're like the same lady. Sheila offers to fuck him instead, and Frank squeals that he can't take anything up his ass sober, but she promises to "make it all be about you." Frank resists -- maybe already knows what's going to happen? -- but she persists, hopping around and pulling him upstairs adorably.

Mickey Milkovich stops by the Kash & Grab, for once not interested in stealing, and the boys sneak into the back room for another quickie. The delight with which Ian navigates this relationship is so affecting and sweet that you can't help but wonder if Mickey will ever get there, or if he's just going to stay scary and eventually do something horrible. Or if that role will fall to Mandy. Or really, anybody involved in this: I can see even Linda getting pissed at her sister-wife for fucking her mortal enemy. How funny would that be?

Kev and Veronica feel "icky" about the way Ethel is cleaning their entire house, but Kev tries to explain how it makes Ethel happy, and accidentally mentions slavery, which puts a certain look in Veronica's eye that is terrible to behold. Ethel comes back in and offers to help Veronica with her chores now, explaining that sister-wives stick together, and they're like: "Back up. You're a fifth wife, at thirteen, who was married to a fellow named Clyde who is 65?" Veronica offers to beat Kev's ass for him, for dragging them into this, but again: Don't you kinda hope Clyde shows up, hat in hand like in Breakfast At Tiffany's, and then maybe gets himself murdered or something? I know I make fun of the show's self-consciously Showtimey "we're so edgy and novel" thing, but admittedly, at this point, I've fallen prey to the "anything can happen" part of all that.

"What's the total right now?" $7.56. "Okay." The girl at the register asks Fiona if that was a "keep going" okay, or a "we're done here" okay, which I found kind of touching. Like, it would never occur to me to play Price Is Right at the register this way, but in the world of this show it makes total sense, and it's very kind. Quick math while a young mom takes her kid to the bathroom to change a diaper, and Fiona's eyes light up: She puts back the diapers, pays her bill, and follows the lady to the bathroom to stage a "Liam, I forgot your diapers!" scenario where the lady kindly tosses her one. Clever, unsustainable, but very Fiona in that no-fault kind of way.

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