The kids finally make it out the door, but Lip stays behind to inform the moms that they will not be stealing his brother, and Bob gets very threatening, and it's real gross. Lip finally takes off, pointing out the fact that Bob and Frank are not so very different, and Monica chases him out into the street and then it's just sort of Lip doing great acting while Monica says nothing of real import. She's not really a character or a person, even more so than Frank who is a force of nature, plus that voice she's got, so it is hard to understand the point of this scene because the whole episode is Monica going first this way and then that way and complicating things by being wishy-washy, but because there is no emotional center to her it's like impossible to track why she is doing the things that she's doing. Lip tells her to fuck off, one more time, and but fuck off she will not.
Over on the good part of the episode, Eddie's all excited about a Touched By An Angel marathon on the Hallmark Channel this weekend, sharing that with his daughter and pretending they are normal, and Karen's feeling positive about that: "Except the Irish lady. She's weird." (She's also named Monica, for what it's worth.) Eddie brings up the Purity Ball again, which since we're going there let's just get something straight: Purity Balls are incest without the sex.
The Five Awesomest Episodes Of Touched By An Angel, In Order & Off The Top Of My Head
5. Chinese insurgents: Roma Downey gets the shit kicked out of her. It's actually very beautiful and not funny at all.
4. Homeless Roma Downey: God takes away her magic angel powers and she ends up washing this hobo's crusty feet. Also not funny/very beautiful.
3. Delta Burke sold her baby for $50 and won't shut up about it. Eventually she succumbs to asphyxiation and Della Reese shows up dressed like an Eskimo -- no explanation -- to explain why Major Dad can't drive her to the emergency room: The reason is that God wants Delta Burke's ass dead.
2. Valerie Bertinelli, the robot angel, is told to get to know humans by hanging out with them, so she goes to a rave, tries ecstasy, and eventually ends up at the edge of a cliff acting k-hole suicidal and crazy in an Emily Valentine/U4EA kind of way.
1. "Black Like Monica": Roma Downey spends the entire episode in blackface.
Sheila gets weird with Frank some more about how he's taking Monica to the City (actually the County but they keep saying City) Clerk's office for the settlement thing, which issue is why it matters that Monica keeps going this way and that, because as usual Frank's agenda is the thing messing everything up for everybody. So every scene, things change, but you never know why or what is happening because Monica is such a nonentity and because the line readings are so fucked up in so many places and the emphases keep being on the wrong syllables of these already totally unmusical sentences, which is kind of the writer's fault and kind of the actors' faults, but mostly it's the whole point of having a director, but no dice here because in this case, the director would prefer to be tone-deaf and lazy until the end, and then throw some guitars at your head and pretend we're in Dillon TX instead of generating any kind of emotion or story on his or her own.