Word for word, Veronica presents Fiona's doubts about their wedding. He's like, "Is this a Woman Test where I have to say the right thing?" which V points out is an automatic F if it were, and he wonders about what they would tell people, and she's like, "The wedding is off has a certain ring to it," but then she remembers that she's going to have to tell her mom, which is going to be horrible, and also that now she will not be getting a KitchenAid, so of course the only solution is fucking.
But yeah, I have often thought that would be a good enough reason to get married, so I'm feeling your pain, V. They're just so... Pretty. And weighty. Just looking at it, you know you're doing more than just simple mixing. You are cooking the shit out of a meal when you get the KA involved. I feel about them the way Debbie feels about old people and babies. What color would you want? Cobalt blue is classic, you're right. But the red is very, very shiny. I am saving the red KitchenAid for a personal reward once I solve at least half of my 99 problems. I will name it "Iorek Byrnison" and I will finally figure out what a pastry hook is for. I will hook some pastry all night long, baby.
Mama shows up at the door all "Here comes the bride!" and does some screaming of "I can't believe it!" that turns moments later into a different kind of "I can't believe it!" once they dry-run the cancellation on her. Of course she's like, "How could you do this to me?" and Kev makes the mistake of calling her Mama and it's all going south, so he tries this whole "until gay people can get married" thing, which... I will never have to make that call, and Lord knows I love me a wedding, but I think if I were straight I would totally refuse to get married on that basis. Even now, speaking as a veritable ticking timebomb of marital energy, I still think the whole thing's a little tacky. It's not enough to wait until we can, if you see what I'm saying: I want to wait until it absolutely does not matter.
Mama's all, "This isn't what your father wants!" and V reminds her that Daddy's dead and thus wants for very little, but Mama's unconvinced. Seems he set aside "a little something" for that special day. Things change and flip back to normal very fast, of course, because now it's not just the marriage but the home, maybe, and V is close to locking down normal forever. Of course, Kev knows there's still a hitch, so when he starts jerking at his collar and getting hives it looks like a joke from the 1970s but actually has nothing to do with cold feet. Which is a neat thing about this episode: Kev has no doubts about V, it's just this other thing, so he keeps acting like a nervous groom when the groom part is actually something he has no nerves about. You know?