One of Fiona's jobs is peeing. She pees for a friend with a government job, and this Sonny supplies her with tasty lasagna in return: It's still warm, the friend says, and Fiona hands over the pee: "So's this!" Everybody comes running for their "piss food" treat, and V shows up to take Deb to Target so they can register. They give you a little gun and you just shoot the things, it's like hunting but you don't need a license. Fiona wonders if Kev knows the marriage is back on, and V says yes and then, tastefully, "You tell that girl Sonny I will crap on a paper plate for her if it'll get me some of this grub!" I'll be sure and do that. Next time we're having High Tea, I will mention that.
Frank's got three balls, which he finds not only unremarkable but also strangely irrelevant to his migraines. The doc -- Mac's Mom from Sunny, always a charmer -- tells him to come back for a biopsy tomorrow, but Frank's just like, "He's my lucky charm! Gave me six kids!" The more we talk about Frank's balls the harder it is not to picture them. Like the show is whispering in your ear, Old Man Scrotum.
Fiona comes to the bar with Liam and Kev cutely is all, "Uh pretty sure you can't bring a baby into a bar, ma'am," and she reminds him you can't marry a buncha ladies either. And since her plan of pulling V off-course somehow didn't work, she's there to work the other end: Why doesn't V know? It's sweet, actually: "I'm afraid to tell her. I don't want to make her sad, Fi. It would break my heart to hurt her!" I mean, grow up, but that's very sweet and very, as it turns out, Kev. Fiona threatens to tell V herself, and then asks for some bottle milk from behind the bar. Always working it, our Fiona.
"The devil's in my balls, Billy, and he's comin' for the rest of me!" Fiona snarks at Frank and takes off, and Frank asks this Billy why it's always him. "Because you're an asshole, Frank." Allusions to that time Lance Armstrong gave Sheryl Crow cancer, and then V shows up all about how she wants to buy Old Man Parson's house. "You know, the one where the son went crazy and hit him with an axe?" She's all, we have to have things like credit scores and stuff, and finally he just takes her into the corner and says he can't marry her. Her face goes very, very sad, and you can see why he didn't want to say. "I'm already married," he says, and he's really sad, and it's tough.













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