Shear Genius

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Weirdly, there is then a segment that's only about two minutes long, and I actually rewound it to see if it was some, "Here's your Quirky Moment of the week, sponsored by The Home Depot!" But no, it seems to have just been a really strangely timed segment of the show, in which we learn that Brig likes to roller skate around the apartment in her gold bathing suit and a captain's hat, and generally make a spectacle of herself while annoying all of her housemates. She actually says she plans to, "throw off [her] competitors with [her] flash." Brian likens it to a band needing to wear crazy costumes because their music sucks, taking the words right out of my mouth. And with that... another commercial.

They gather in front of Camila to hear about the elimination challenge and Brig is in her roller skates, white tights, a gold sequined skirt, pink sheer shirt, and suspenders. Did she not get enough attention from her family when she was a kid? I am desperately hoping that the reason we've seen so much of her this episode is that she's the first one to go. Camila introduces the gang to their mentor, their Tim Gunn, if you will, and he's someone named Orlando Pita who has an amazing John Oates-esque moustache. Most of the stylists seem faint in his presence, which means he probably REALLY has styled every celebrity and supermodel's hair in the world, Giacomo. Camila then tells them that their challenge will be designing the hair for a runway show for L*Space swimsuits. Janine is super excited for runway hair, while Adee is super excited that the models are all sexy. Camila leaves, and Orlando has the models bring out their outfits for the show, which consist of bikini bottoms and nothing more. The stylists must create a hairstyle that both looks good and covers their boobs. The winner receives immunity for the next week. Amy gets first choice of model, while the rest of them draw from a bag of bikini tops that match the bottoms the remaining models are holding to see who they are going to be working with.

Brig grabs her So.Cap™ hair extensions and is ready to go. She works in her roller skates and describes how she wants to weave hair into a kind of halter top. Amy's idea sounds nearly as regrettable: she wants to make a bikini top out of braids. Adee's idea was to just have some wisps of hair over his model's nipples, which he imagines will be "really naughty." Janine is trying for giant "sea nymph" hair, while Joey wants his style to stand out and decides to go with brightly colored extensions made into a necklace of sorts. Seriously, any ideas that involve fashioning hair into clothing or jewelry of sorts sounds horrifyingly bad to me, but maybe I'll be happily surprised? Maybe? Anyone? Bueller? Orlando in fact tells Joey to make sure it looks like a hairstyle and not a necklace. The other unfortunate concept that a couple of stylists are trying out is just sticking hair directly on these poor girls' breasts. Adee glues a bit of long blonde hair to each breast, and it winds up looking like she has hairy man-boobs. Orlando tries to diplomatically dissuade him from this course and fortunately Adee agrees that he needs to switch it up, but his solution is to do a "veil" of hair... a hair choker, if you will, where he's taken a line of extensions, which hang from a kind of wire, and tied it around her neck so the hair hangs like a bib.

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Shear Genius

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