Shear Genius
Do It Yourself

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | Grade It Now!
The Red Menace

The results... don't look that impressive. Nicole, Daniel (who didn't seem to do a whole lot to his model's hair at all), and Dee are deemed good without much comment. Meredith's redhead color turns out not to well, big balls or not. Charlie snipes that it was "Kool-Aid red" from the safety of his interview. Charlie gets props from Roy for, basically, picking the biggest disaster of the bunch and making her look much improved. Nekisa bitches about Charlie cutting (or not cutting, one or the other) her model's hair, to which Charlie bitch-terviews in response that it's just more excuses from Nekisa. "Big titties can't get you out of every jam, darling, sorry," Charlie hisses, regressing to the kind of soundbite-trolling that makes me positively drowsy. Paulo's weeper seems happy with her chopped 'do, though Paulo still trashes her in his interview, calling her an idiot. Gail (?) gets teased for being a busybody, while Glenn gets dinged for not properly bang-ing her model. Roy puts Meredith and an exasperated Nekisa in his Bottom Two, with Meredith coming in dead last. Not sure if there was any reason to state that explicitly other than to trample Meredith. Dee and Daniel get top honors, and by the grace of blow-dried Jesus, Dee's signature chunky highlights bests Daniel's low-impact do-nothingness. Jaclyn tells Dee that, in addition to picking first in the elimination challenge, she'll have an additional advantage to be named later.

Back at the apartment, Paulo is, shockingly enough, whining about the challenge. He's awesome at that. Dee, risking being uncouth given that she won the challenge and should probably pipe down, loudly declares that she had a plan all along. Charlie manages to echo my own thoughts, which was that all the hairstyles look like crap and that Dee's was the least crappy (I actually thought Nicole's was least crappy, but regardless). Dee doesn't take this well, as you wouldn't, because while Charlie's right, he's also being an asshole, and purposely so. He interviews a whole bunch of tedious mess about how nobody really likes each other and everybody's fake about it but him and he has three faces, one of which he uses to stab you in the back, and this shit is so tired. I can't wait for Charlie's upcoming book, How To Succeed At Being A Reality TV Villian By Really, Really, Really Trying.

Aw, hi-hi, Rene Fris! He ESLs the stylists a happy good morning and re-introduces them to Roy Teeluck... who I guess just looks like that all the time. The elimination challenge is all about styling hair that your client will be able to maintain at home. Nekisa seems to think this falls into the heretofore uncharted territory known as her strengths. I am dubious. Dee's double-advantage is that she gets to not only pick her model first, but she gets to assign the rest of the models to the group. Paulo interviews that this will give Dee prime opportunity to screw Charlie, after their fight, but Charlie interviews and reminds us that he has immunity, so there goes all that suspense and tension. Well done!

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Shear Genius




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